70 Beans Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Beans jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Beans jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Beans jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Beans jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Beans Jokes

1. Why did the lima bean turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What’s a bean’s favorite game? Jacks!
3. Why don’t beans ever argue? Because they always try to find common grounds!
4. How do you know if a bean is happy? It starts to spill the beans!
5. What do you call a bean that’s afraid of the dark? A scaredy-bean!
6. What do you call a bean that’s an excellent singer? A croonchy bean!
7. Why do beans make great detectives? They always know how to spill the beans!
8. Why don’t beans ever get lost? They always know how to re-fry the situation!
9. Why do beans always get picked last in sports? Because they’re not runners, they’re jumpers!
10. Why did the coffee bean refuse to admit its mistakes? Because it didn’t want to brew its reputation!
11. What do you call a group of beans playing music? A jam-session!
12. What’s a bean’s favorite type of music? Soul music!
13. Why do beans always make terrible comedians? They always spill the punchline before the joke!
14. What do you call a bean that’s constantly changing its mind? A flip-flop!

Beans Jokes for Kids

1. Why do beans make bad mathematicians? They always count the same bean twice!
2. What’s a bean’s favorite dance? The lima-limbo!
3. Why did the jellybean go to school? To become a smartie-bean!
4. Why did the green bean go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a bit pod-y!
5. What do you call a bean that’s really into fitness? A buff-bean!
6. Why did the bean go to space? To find the missing link-bean!
7. What do you call a bean that’s always telling stories? A tale-bean!
8. Why don’t beans ever wear hats? Because they’re afraid they’ll spill the beans!
9. What’s a bean’s favorite dessert? Chocolate-chip beanies!
10. Why do beans always need a second opinion? Because they can’t make a de-ci-sion!
11. What do you call a bean that’s always partying? A celebean!
12. What do you call a bean that’s always studying? A brain-bean!
13. Why don’t beans ever travel? Because they’re afraid they’ll be spilled during the trip!
14. What do you call a bean that’s really good at math? A calculi-bean!

Funny Beans Jokes

1. Why do beans always win at hide-and-seek? Because they’re always in a different pod!
2. What’s a bean’s favorite vegetable? It’s bean-a-nas!
3. Why did the bean go to the doctor? Because it had a splitting-pea!
4. Why do beans always need help? Because they’re not very self-reliant!
5. What do you call a bean that’s always worried? A nervy-bean!
6. Why don’t beans ever have pets? Because they’re afraid they’ll be nibbled-on!
7. What’s a bean’s favorite thing to do in the summer? Soak up some sun-beans!
8. Why don’t beans ever get sick? Because they’re always in pea-king condition!
9. What do you call a bean that’s always telling jokes? A pun-chline bean!
10. Why don’t beans ever take risks? Because they’re afraid they’ll end up in a can!
11. What do you call a bean that’s always on time? A timely-bean!
12. Why do beans make terrible housekeepers? They always spill the beans!
13. What’s a bean’s favorite subject in school? Social beans!
14. Why don’t beans ever get lost in a maze? Because they always know the way out of the pod!

Beans Jokes One-liners

1. What do you call a bean that’s really fast? A lightning-bean!
2. Why did the bean go on a diet? To be a lean, mean bean machine!
3. What do you call a bean that’s always procrastinating? A bean-counter!
4. Why did the jellybean go to the doctor? Because it was feeling jelly-sick!
5. What’s a bean’s favorite TV show? Dancing with the Starch!
6. Why do beans always make terrible salespeople? They always spill the beans before sealing the deal!
7. What do you call a bean that’s always complaining? A whine-bean!
8. Why don’t beans ever get lost in the woods? Because they always know how to bean-trail!
9. What’s a bean’s favorite hobby? Collecting bean-y babies!
10. Why do beans always make terrible detectives? They always jump to conclusions!
11. What do you call a bean that’s always playing pranks? A joke-er bean!
12. Why did the bean go to the gym? To get ripped like a bean-stalk!
13. What’s a bean’s favorite outdoor activity? Jumping bean-toss!
14. Why do beans always make terrible liars? They can never keep their pods straight!

Beans Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a bean that’s always taking selfies? A snap-pea!
2. Why don’t beans ever go to concerts? Because they’re afraid they’ll be baked in the sun!
3. What’s a bean’s favorite movie? The Bean-trapment!
4. Why did the green bean go to the beach? To get a tan-bean!
5. What do you call a bean that’s always meditating? A zen-bean!
6. Why don’t beans ever get into arguments? Because they always try to stay bean-diplomatic!
7. What’s a bean’s favorite holiday? Refried-bean Day!
8. Why do beans always make terrible chefs? They always overcook or undercook themselves!
9. What do you call a bean that’s always singing karaoke? A croonchy-bean!
10. Why don’t beans ever use the internet? Because they’re afraid they’ll be spilt over the web!
11. What’s a bean’s favorite flower? Bean-daisies!
12. Why did the bean go to the dentist? To get its cavity-peas filled!
13. What do you call a bean that’s always in a hurry? A rushin’ bean!
14. Why don’t beans ever run for office? Because they don’t want to get too saucy!

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Beans Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Beans jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.