70 Bed Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Bed jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Bed jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Bed jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Bed jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Bed Jokes

1. Why did the bed go to the doctor? Because it was feeling springy!
2. What do you call a bed that is always in a hurry? A fast-spring!
3. Why did the bed break up with its partner? Because it wanted to sleep around!
4. What did the bed say to the pillow? “I think I’ve got you covered.”
5. Why did the bed refuse to leave the house? Because it had a mattress to attend to!
6. What did the bed say to the alarm clock? “I always get the last word in.”
7. Why did the bed cross the road? To get to the other side of the bedroom!
8. Why did the bed need glasses? Because it had bed frames!
9. Why did the bed get a ticket? Because it was double-parked!
10. Why did the bed go to school? To get a degree in siesta.
11. What do you call a bed that is always on time? Punctual springs!
12. Why did the bed join a gym? To get more spring in its step.
13. What did the bed say when it won the lottery? “I’m going to invest in a really good mattress!”
14. Why did the bed go on a diet? To lose some extra sheets.

Bed Jokes for Kids

1. What did the bed say to the blanket? “I’ve got you covered.”
2. Why did the bed get angry? Because someone stole its pillow talk.
3. Why did the bed call the police? Because it was being blanket-ed!
4. What did the bed say when it couldn’t find its sheets? “I’m totally sheetless!”
5. Why did the bed refuse to watch TV? Because it had already seen enough drama in its life.
6. What do you call a bed that’s also a plane? A flying mattress!
7. Why did the bed get a job as a bartender? It heard that people like to sleep on the rocks.
8. What did the bed say to the dresser? “I think we make a great pair!”
9. Why did the bed go on vacation? To get some rest and relaxation.
10. Why did the bed go to the beach? To get some sheet tan!
11. What do you call a bed that’s also a dog? A bedlington terrier!
12. Why did the bed go to the moon? To take a nap on a new celestial body.
13. What did the bed say when it met the couch? “I’m way more comfortable than you.”
14. Why did the bed become a singer? Because it had a great bed-vocal range!

Funny Bed Jokes

1. Why did the bed become a detective? To investigate the case of the missing pillows.
2. What did the bed say to the lamp? “You light up my night.”
3. Why did the bed decide to become a carpenter? It wanted to build its own bed frame.
4. What do you call a bed that’s also a motorcycle? A chopper bed!
5. Why did the bed refuse to play poker? Because it had a bad hand!
6. What did the bed say when it won the race? “I’m the fastest sleeper in town.”
7. Why did the bed go to space? To find a new mattress.
8. Why did the bed decide to write a book? To share its dreams and stories.
9. Why did the bed get angry when it was asked to move? Because it was already in a stable relationship with the room.
10. What did the bed say to the carpet? “You make me feel grounded.”
11. Why did the bed become a teacher? To teach people how to sleep better.
12. What do you call a bed that’s also a boat? A waterbed!
13. Why did the bed get a divorce? Because it couldn’t get past the spring in its step.
14. What did the bed say to the nightstand? “You complete me.”

Bed Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the bed go to the circus? To see the high-flying bed acrobatics!
2. Why did the bed decide to become a comedian? To put people to sleep with laughter.
3. What do you call a bed that’s also a car? A bedmobile!
4. Why did the bed refuse to go to work? Because it was tired of being a spring chicken.
5. What did the bed say when it was asked to move to a different room? “I can’t just spring into action like that!”
6. Why did the bed decide to take up painting? To create dreamy art.
7. What do you call a bed that’s also a plane? A bed-jet!
8. Why did the bed go to the gym? To work on its core spring-tensity.
9. What did the bed say to the blanket on a hot summer day? “I’m feeling sheetless today.”
10. Why did the bed go to the library? To catch up on some Zzz’s.
11. Why did the bed become a scientist? To study the physics of comfort.
12. What do you call a bed that’s also a submarine? A sub-bed!
13. Why did the bed refuse to go out in the rain? Because it didn’t want to get a spring-cold.
14. What did the bed say to the couch when they met in the store? “I’m the better place to crash.”

Bed Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the bed go to the dentist? To get a filling in its cavity.
2. What do you call a bed that’s also a spaceship? A space-bed!
3. Why did the bed become a chef? To cook up some dreamy delights.
4. What did the bed say to the pillow during an argument? “Don’t make me flip you over!”
5. Why did the bed refuse to participate in a marathon? Because it didn’t want to get too far ahead of the rest.
6. What do you call a bed that’s also a monster? A bed-beast!
7. Why did the bed decide to learn a new language? To be able to dream in a foreign tongue.
8. What did the bed say when it got a new mattress? “I’m feeling re-sprung!”
9. Why did the bed go to the pet store? To find a new bed-fellow.
10. What do you call a bed that’s also a helicopter? A bed-copter!
11. Why did the bed become a politician? To ensure everyone has a good night’s sleep.
12. What did the bed say to the curtains? “I like how you drape yourself over me.”
13. Why did the bed go to the park? To have a rest under the trees.
14. What do you call a bed that’s also a jacuzzi? A bubbly bed!

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Bed Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Bed jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.