70 Cards Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Card jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Card jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Card jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Card jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Card Jokes

1. Why did the card dealer get a job at the zoo? Because he was an expert at dealing with cheetahs.
2. What do you call a card game between two chickens? A peck-er game.
3. Why did the card player bring a potato to the game? In case they needed a chip.
4. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a card game? One is a shabby bouncer, the other is a gabby shunter.
5. Why did the card player go to jail? For dealing with a full house.
6. What do you call a card game played by dogs? Ruff poker.
7. Why did the card shark quit his job at the aquarium? He realized there was no such thing as a straight fish.
8. Why did the card player bring a spoon to the game? In case they needed to stir things up.
9. What do you call a card game played by bees? Bumblehold ’em.
10. Why did the card player go on a diet? So he could play with a lighter deck.
11. What do you call a card game between two ghosts? Spooker.
12. Why did the card player bring a roll of toilet paper to the game? In case they got a flush.
13. What do you call a card game played by astronauts? Lunar Hold ‘Em.
14. Why did the card dealer go to prison? He was caught dealing from the bottom of the deck.

Card Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call a card game played by cows? Moo-laha.
2. Why did the card player bring a parachute to the game? In case they needed to fold.
3. What do you call a card game played by dinosaurs? Tricera-tops.
4. Why did the card player bring a map to the game? In case they needed to find a flush.
5. What do you call a card game played by pirates? Buccaneer Hold ‘Em.
6. Why did the card shark fail at being a chef? He always went all-in.
7. What do you call a card game played by ghosts and monsters? Spooky Poker.
8. Why did the card player bring a lawn mower to the game? In case they needed to cut the deck.
9. What do you call a card game played by babies? Cry ‘n Call.
10. Why did the card player bring a raincoat to the game? In case of a royal flush.
11. What do you call a card game played by aliens? Space Hold ‘Em.
12. Why did the card dealer go on a diet? So he could deal with a lighter deck.
13. What do you call a card game played by mermaids? Sea-hold ’em.
14. Why did the card player bring a bicycle to the game? In case they needed a two-pair.

Funny Card Jokes

1. What do you call a card game played by vampires? Fang-tastic Hold ‘Em.
2. Why did the card shark fail at being a rock climber? He always went all-in on every handhold.
3. What do you call a card game played by robots? Circuit Hold ‘Em.
4. Why did the card player bring a pillow to the game? In case they needed a full house.
5. What do you call a card game played by superheroes? Justice Hold ‘Em.
6. Why did the card dealer go to the dentist? To get a straight flush.
7. What do you call a card game played by ghosts and goblins? Ghoul Poker.
8. Why did the card player bring a magnifying glass to the game? In case they needed to read the small print.
9. What do you call a card game played by zombies? Dead Man’s Hand.
10. Why did the card shark fail at being a pilot? He always went all-in on every takeoff.
11. What do you call a card game played by magicians? Sleight of Hand Hold ‘Em.
12. Why did the card player bring a flashlight to the game? In case they needed to shine a light on their hand.
13. What do you call a card game played by ghosts and witches? Spellbinding Poker.
14. Why did the card dealer go to the gym? To work on his shuffling skills.\

Card Jokes One-liners

1. What do you call a card game played by astronauts on Mars? Red Planet Hold ‘Em.
2. Why did the card player bring a hammer to the game? In case they needed to nail down a winning hand.
3. What do you call a card game played by dragons? Fire Hold ‘Em.
4. Why did the card shark fail at being a gymnast? He always went all-in on every flip.
5. What do you call a card game played by musicians? Jam Session Hold ‘Em.
6. Why did the card player bring a calculator to the game? In case they needed to do some quick math.
7. What do you call a card game played by cowboys? Wild West Hold ‘Em.
8. Why did the card dealer go to the library? To study up on the rules.
9. What do you call a card game played by genies? Magic Hold ‘Em.
10. Why did the card player bring a ruler to the game? In case they needed to measure up to the competition.
11. What do you call a card game played by spies? Secret Agent Hold ‘Em.
12. Why did the card shark fail at being a skateboarder? He always went all-in on every trick.
13. What do you call a card game played by detectives? Clue Hold ‘Em.
14. Why did the card player bring a whistle to the game? In case they needed to call a bluff.

Card Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a card game played by robots and aliens? Cosmic Hold ‘Em.
2. Why did the card dealer go to the art museum? To brush up on his dealing skills.
3. What do you call a card game played by unicorns? Rainbow Hold ‘Em.
4. Why did the card player bring a band-aid to the game? In case they got a bad beat.
5. What do you call a card game played by time travelers? Temporal Hold ‘Em.
6. Why did the card shark fail at being a surfer? He always went all-in on every wave.
7. What do you call a card game played by athletes? Olympic Hold ‘Em.
8. Why did the card player bring a pen to the game? In case they needed to write down their opponents’ tells.
9. What do you call a card game played by superheroes and villains? Heroic Hold ‘Em.
10. Why did the card dealer go to the park? To practice his shuffle.
11. What do you call a card game played by animals? Critter Hold ‘Em.
12. Why did the card player bring a camera to the game? In case they needed to snap a picture of their winning hand.
13. What do you call a card game played by wizards and witches? Magic Poker.
14. Why did the card shark fail at being a swimmer? He always went all-in on every stroke.

Final Take Away from these Funny Card Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Card jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.