Christmas is the perfect time for puns. They can be used to add humor to cards, gifts, and conversations. Puns about Christmas carols, Santa, reindeer, and elves are especially popular.
Christmas Puns
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
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What type of Christmas dessert shouldn’t you trust?
Mince spies.
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What kind of fish do they have at the North Pole?
Jollyfish.
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What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost.
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What do you call a reindeer ghost?
Cari-boo!
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What would you get if you ate all the Christmas tree decorations?
Tinselitis.
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What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
Wait, there’s myrrh.
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What kind of linens do gingerbread men put on their beds?
Cookie sheets.
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Did you hear the forecast for Christmas Eve?
They’re calling for rain, dear!
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What does a festive sheep say at Christmastime?
Fleece Navidad.
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Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter?
Her name is Mary Christmas.
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Why was the candy cane so expensive?
It was in mint condition.
Funny Christmas Puns
What should you do if your car stalls on Christmas Eve?
You get a mistletow.
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Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
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What is Santa’s favorite kind of candy?
Jolly ranchers.
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Which of Santa’s reindeer needs to mind his manners the most?
Rude Olph.
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Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.
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What did the English teacher call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
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What do you call an elf that can sing?
A wrapper.
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How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas?
They use Santa-tizer.
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What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?
Elf-abet soup!
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How did Rudolph survive his first trip with Santa?
He held on for deer life.
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Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
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What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
Christmas puns one-liner
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
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What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
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What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
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Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
Because they were two deer!
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What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast?
The One Show!
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Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital?
Because he has private elf care!
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How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger!
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What do baby elves learn in Kindergarten at the North Pole?
The elf-abet.
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What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw their Christmas tree?
It looks okay, but you could Spruce it up a bit.
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What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop?
A rebel without a Claus!
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What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Chemistree.
Biology Christmas puns
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
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Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
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What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!
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What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!
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What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker!
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Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
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What do you call buying a piano for the holidays?
Christmas Chopin!
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What’s a child’s favourite king at Christmas?
A stoc-king!
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Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
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Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
Because he had no body to go with!
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How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey?
On the dark side!
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Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!
Math Christmas Puns
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
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What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking backwards!
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Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!
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Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered!
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How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed!
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What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross-mouse cards!
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What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
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What do snowmen have for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
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What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack!
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What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
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What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
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What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
‘But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!’
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What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
A mistle-toad!
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Which famous playwright was terrified of Christmas?
Noël Coward!
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What carol is heard in the desert?
‘O camel ye faithful!’
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How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
Only 25, there’s no L!
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What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!
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Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!
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How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
No Brussels!
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How does Christmas Day end?
With the letter Y!
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken’s day off!
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What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Conclusion of Christmas Puns
In conclusion, Christmas puns are a great way to get into the holiday spirit. They can be used to decorate your home, add some fun to your Christmas party, or simply make someone smile. So go ahead and spread some holiday cheer with a few festive puns of your own.
