70 Clock Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Clock jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Clock jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Clock jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Clock jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Clock Jokes

1. What did the clock say when it got hungry? “It’s time for a second hand!”
2. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? For tocking too much in class.
3. Why did the clock go to the optometrist? It had a problem with its face.
4. What did the clock say to the other clock in the bar? “I’ll get this round, you get the next tick.”
5. What do you call a clock that’s always hungry? A second hand.
6. Why did the clock feel bad? It had ticks but no tocks.
7. What did the clock say when it was asked to play hide and seek? “I’ll count the seconds!”
8. Why did the clock go to the gym? To work on its alarm muscles.
9. What did the clock say to the wristwatch? “Hands up, you’re under arrest for being too time-consuming.”
10. What do you get when you cross a clock with a duck? A time quacker!
11. Why did the clock keep hitting on the calendar? It wanted to set a date.
12. What did the clock say to the watch? “You’re second best.”
13. Why did the clock go to the doctor? It had a ticking sound in its chest.
14. What did the clock say to the grandfather clock? “Your time is up!”

Clock Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the clock go back four seconds? It wanted to see its hands again.
2. What did the clock say when it was asked for directions? “To the right, to the right!”
3. Why did the clock always lose at poker? It had a tell-tick.
4. What did the clock say to the time traveler? “I’m a little behind on the times.”
5. Why did the clock feel like it was running out of time? It had a lot on its hands.
6. What did the clock say to the wall? “I’ll be hanging around here for a while.”
7. Why did the clock always feel thirsty? It was always going tick-tock.
8. What do you call a clock with a headache? A time-ache.
9. Why did the clock go to the psychologist? It had a lot of ticks and no tocks.
10. What did the clock say when it was asked to be quiet? “Sorry, I’m just ticking away.”
11. Why did the clock go to the party? To get its hands on some good times.
12. What do you call a clock that’s always late? A tardy clock.
13. Why did the clock go to the race track? To watch the second hand go round and round.
14. What did the clock say to the sundial? “You’re so old-fashioned.”

Funny Clock Jokes

1. Why did the clock go to the therapist? It had a lot of time on its hands.
2. What do you call a clock that’s also a bird? A cuckoo clock.
3. Why did the clock get a ticket? For speeding.
4. What did the clock say to the calendar on New Year’s Eve? “See you next year!”
5. Why did the clock go to the bank? To check its balance.
6. What do you call a clock that’s always in a hurry? A rush hour clock.
7. **Why did the clock feel like it was losing time ?** It had a second hand that kept falling off.
8. What did the clock say to the stopwatch? “I bet you can’t keep up with me.”
9. Why did the clock go to the beach? To watch the tide come in and the time go out.
10. What do you call a clock that’s always happy? A jolly timepiece.
11. Why did the clock go to the mountains? To get away from all the second-hand smoke.
12. What did the clock say to the bell? “You’re so old-school.”
13. Why did the clock go to the cemetery? To see how much time it had left.
14. What do you call a clock that can tell jokes? A tickle-time.

Clock Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the clock go to the movie theater? To watch “High Noon.”
2. What did the clock say to the hourglass? “You’re just a glass half full.”
3. Why did the clock go to the party alone? It didn’t want to be second fiddle.
4. What do you call a clock that’s always looking for a fight? A tick-tocker.
5. Why did the clock go to the barbershop? To get a new face.
6. What did the clock say to the calendar on April Fool’s Day? “You’re always one day behind.”
7. Why did the clock feel like it was losing its mind? It had a lot of ticks and no tocks.
8. What do you call a clock that’s always telling secrets? A time-tattler.
9. Why did the clock go to the aquarium? To see the second-hand swim.
10. What did the clock say to the hour hand? “We make a great team.”
11. Why did the clock go to the museum? To see all the old ticks and tocks.
12. What do you call a clock that’s always broke? A broke-tick.
13. Why did the clock go to the mechanic? It had a problem with its hands.
14. What did the clock say to the stopwatch at the finish line? “I had you beat all along.”

Clock Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the clock feel like it was stuck in the past? It had a lot of old ticks and no new tocks.
2. What do you call a clock that’s always out of breath? A time-pant.
3. Why did the clock go to the grocery store? It was running low on time.
4. What did the clock say to the other clock at the party? “I’m having a tick-tocking good time.”
5. Why did the clock go to the amusement park? To ride the rollercoaster and feel the rush of time.
6. What do you call a clock that’s always on vacation? A time-off piece.
7. Why did the clock go to the tailor? It needed a new wristband.
8. What did the clock say to the sundial at night? “Time flies when you’re having fun.”
9. Why did the clock feel like it was being watched? It had a lot of hands on it.
10. What do you call a clock that’s always anxious? A time-worry.
11. Why did the clock go to the park? To watch the second hand tick-tick-tick away.
12. What did the clock say to the stopwatch at the starting line? “Ready, set, go!”
13. Why did the clock feel like it was stuck in a time loop? It kept going tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
14. What do you call a clock that’s always telling stories? A time-teller.

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Clock Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Clock jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.