67 Dad Jokes and Puns that will crack you up 😃

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A dad joke is a corny joke, typically one that is made by a father to his children. Dad jokes are often bad, but sometimes they can be funny. Some people believe that dad jokes are an important part of being a father.

If you want to make your dad happy, tell him a dad joke. Whether you love them or hate them, you have to admit that dad jokes are a staple in many households.

For the uninitiated, a dad joke is a corny, often pun-laden joke that is told by a father to his children. Some people find them endearing, while others can’t help but groan at the corniness.

Regardless of your opinion on them, there’s no denying that dad jokes are a part of many people’s lives.

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Best Dad Jokes

 

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What do you call a man with no arms and an eye on his knee?

Larry.

What do you call a man with three legs, sitting in the ocean?

Bob.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Because he got a hole in one!

What do you call a man with a sheep under each arm?

A shepherd.

What do you call an alligator with a rubber nose?

A snapper.

What’s the difference between a dad and a washing machine?

You only have to unload a washing machine once.

What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down on four?

A mountain climber.

What did the sign say at the bottom of the hill?

You’re halfway there.

What do you call a dad who’s lost his car keys?

Dad-napped!

Why did the boy put his head in the freezer?

Because he wanted to cool off.

Why did he take it out again?

He got frostbite.

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

What do you call a man who’s lost his dog?

A wanderer.

What’s the difference between a dad and an onion?

No one cries when you chop up an onion.


 

Funny Dad Jokes

 

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob.

What did the mermaid say when she stepped on a sea biscuit?

Ouch.

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had so many problems.

What was the first animal in space?

The cat. Because it was a feline.

Why is the ocean blue?

Because it’s full of fish.

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How do you stop elephants from charging?

Take away their credit cards.

Why don’t ducks like to share their food?

Because they’re scrooge.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it.

What did the pirate say when he looked at a map?

Aarrrggghhh!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.


 

Best Dad Jokes

 

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn’t peeling very well.

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a fish?

A walkie-talkie.

Why was the math book sad?

Because it had so many problems.

How do you know when a frog is dead?

It stops jumping.

What do you call an elephant that’s been in prison?

A Con-elephant.

Why was the guitar so upset?

Because it had so many strings.

Why was the broom late?

It over swept.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?

Because it was two-tired.

Why did the boy fall off the swing?

Because he was swinging too high.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogey in it.

Why was the math book sad?

It had so many problems.


 

Bad Dad Jokes

 

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

How do you know when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Footprints in the butter.

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You’re too young to smoke.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer.

Why did the boy put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

I’ve got bricks.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t like parties?

A Loner.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

What did the tie say to the hat?

You go on a head, I’ll just follow.

Dirty Dad Jokes

 

How does a man show that he’s planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

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What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

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Why are women like corn flakes?

They’re simple, easy and they taste good.

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

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“A woman went to the doctor and said, “It hurts when I raise my arms like this.” The doctor asked her, “When did it start hurting? “She replied, “When I started raising my kids.”

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Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet?

Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

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Why do men have larger brains than dogs?

So they don’t shit on the floor and have to eat it too.

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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.


 

Corny Dad Jokes

 

What is the difference between a man and E.T.?

E.T. phoned home.

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What do you call a man with half a brain?

Gifted!

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What do you call a man who speaks three languages?

Trilingual.

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What do you call a man who speaks two languages?

Bilingual.

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What do you call a man who speaks one language?

An American.

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What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.

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What’s the difference between a dog and a fox?

About 5 drinks.

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Why do birds fly south in the winter?

It gets too cold to pull the fly swatter.

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What’s the difference between two bull fighters?

One is a matador and the other is a torero.

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Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?

Make him wear pants.

Conclusion on Dad Jokes

In conclusion, funny dad jokes are the best way to show your dad how much you love him. They’re also a great way to show your friends how much you care about them. So, go ahead and make someone’s day by sending them a funny dad joke today. dad jokes are hilarious. They are the best way to make your dad laugh. If you want to make your dad laugh, tell him a dad joke.

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