70 Drinks Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Drinks jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Drinks jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Drinks jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Drinks jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Drinks Jokes

1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
4. What did one tea bag say to the other? “You’re tea-riffic!”
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
7. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
8. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
9. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
10. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
11. Why did the bartender break up with the gin? Because it was too tonic.
12. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
13. Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
14. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python.

Drinks Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
2. Why did the strawberry go out with the fig? Because it couldn’t get a date.
3. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
4. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
5. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the ice cream? Because it was too rocky.
6. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark? A bird that talks your ear off.
7. Why did the lemon go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a-peel-ing.
8. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
9. What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside? A hollow weenie.
10. Why did the espresso file a restraining order? It was being stalked by a latte.
11. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? “Nothing, but it let out a little whine.”
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
13. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy.
14. Why did the grape go out with the raisin? Because it couldn’t get a date.

Funny Drinks Jokes

1. What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band.
2. Why did the bartender kick out the tangerine? It was too much of a peel.
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on six times? “Nothing, it just let out a little wine.”
4. Why don’t ghosts like drinking soda? Because it goes right through them.
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker? Frosted buns.
6. Why did the tomato turn green? Because it saw the salad dressing.
7. What do you call a sheep that can sing? A ewe-nique.
8. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the margarita? It was already on the rocks.
9. What do you call a beer that’s not yours? Stolen brews.
10. Why did the banana wear a tuxedo? It was going to a peel formal event.
11. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
12. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to Colonel Sanders.
13. What did the bartender say to the grape that wanted to order a drink? “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”
14. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it didn’t want to get squished like a grape.

Drinks Jokes One-liners

1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a microwave? Frostbite.
2. Why did the orange run away from the apple? Because it was a bad influence and always getting juiced.
3. What do you call a drink that’s served in a jail cell? Cell drink.
4. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the martini? It was too dry.
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a boxer? Punching bags.
6. Why did the lemon fail its driving test? It kept peeling out.
7. What do you call a beer that’s not alcoholic? Near beer.
8. Why did the grape go to the doctor? Because it was feeling vine.
9. What do you call a martini that’s made with whiskey instead of gin? A wisk-tini.
10. Why did the tomato turn blue? Because it was holding its breath.
11. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a lawyer? A chill in the courtroom.
12. Why did the grape cross the road? To get away from the raisin.
13. What do you call a drunk bee? A buzzed bee.
14. Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it had a bad core.

Drinks Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a drink that’s made with ice cream and soda? A float.
2. Why did the grape refuse to be crushed? It didn’t want to be a whine-y baby.
3. What do you call a whiskey sour with a slice of bacon in it? A bacon sour.
4. Why did the banana go to the party? To split.
5. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a lawyer? Frostbite.
6. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the pirate? Because it looked like it had already had too many shots.
7. What do you call a drink that’s made with coffee and whiskey? An Irish coffee.
8. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It was stuck in traffic.
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a karate master? A cold front kick.
10. Why did the strawberry break up with the grape? It was too jelly.
11. What do you call a margarita that’s made with beer instead of tequila? A beer-ita.
12. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It had a split personality.
13. What do you call a drink that’s made with tequila and tomato juice? A bloody margarita.
14. Why did the grape break up with the raisin? It was tired of the same old dried-up relationship.

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Drinks Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Drinks jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.