70 Eye Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Eye jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Eye jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Eye jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Eye jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Eye Jokes

1. Why did the cyclops close his school? Because he only had one pupil.
2. What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.
3. Why did the eyeball go to New York City? To see the sights.
4. What do you call a blind deer? No-eye deer.
5. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. Why did the eye doctor get a job at the airport? Because he could see that the planes were coming in.
8. Why did the eyeball go to jail? For cornea-l behavior.
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
10. What did the left eye say to the right eye? “Just between us, something smells.”
11. What did the teacher say to the student who kept rubbing their eyes? “Don’t take your pupils out in public.”
12. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
13. Why did the eye doctor give up skydiving? He couldn’t handle the cornea-l velocity.
14. Why did the eye doctor break up with his girlfriend? She was seeing someone else.

Eye Jokes for Kids

1. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon.
2. Why did the eye doctor break up with his optometrist girlfriend? She just couldn’t see things his way.
3. Why was the pirate good at math? He could “Eyepatch” numbers.
4. What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band.
5. What do you call a bird that can’t fly? A walk-along.
6. Why did the eye doctor refuse to use the computer? He had a retina display.
7. Why did the eye doctor wear sunglasses to work? He didn’t want to be recognized in cornea of the office.
8. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sophisti-cod.
9. What do you call a camel with three eyes? Pleased to see ya.
10. Why did the eye doctor refuse to lend his binoculars to his friend? He didn’t see eye to eye with him.
11. Why was the math book sad after school? It had too many problems.
12. Why did the eye doctor break up with his ophthalmologist girlfriend? She was always making a spectacle of herself.
13. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become an astronaut? He was afraid of the cornea virus.
14. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.

Funny Eye Jokes

1. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
2. Why did the eye doctor take up gardening? He wanted to focus on his iris-es.
3. Why did the eye doctor quit his job? He couldn’t see himself doing it anymore.
4. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
5. Why did the eye doctor refuse to watch the solar eclipse? He was afraid he’d get cornea damage.
6. What do you call a cat that likes to eat lemons? A sourpuss.
7. Why did the eye doctor refuse to go to the cinema? He couldn’t see the point of it.
8. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice.
9. What do you call a chicken that’s afraid to cross the road? Chicken.
10. Why did the eye doctor refuse to play cards with his friends? He didn’t want to show his poker face.
11. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
12. What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
13. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a pilot? He had a fear of heights.
14. What do you call a donkey with three eyes? A winky wonky donkey.

Eye Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the tomato turn green? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
3. Why did the eye doctor refuse to go on a roller coaster? He didn’t want to lose his contact lenses.
4. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
5. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
6. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a chef? He didn’t have the chops for it.
7. Why did the apple go to the doctor? Because it had a bad core.
8. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.
9. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a detective? He couldn’t keep his eye on the clues.
10. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no-eye deer.
11. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a magician? He couldn’t focus on his sleight of hand.
12. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the water? Bob.
13. Why did the eye doctor refuse to go camping? He didn’t want to risk getting a cornea ulcer.
14. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

Eye Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a race car driver? He couldn’t handle the speed.
2. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russell.
3. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a musician? He couldn’t hit the high notes.
4. What do you call a rabbit that’s just taken a bath? A hare dryer.
5. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a lawyer? He didn’t want to be cross-examined.
6. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the wall? Art.
7. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a pilot? He was afraid of flying eyeballs.
8. What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin.
9. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a basketball player? He was always traveling.
10. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Bobbing.
11. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a comedian? He couldn’t see the humor in it.
12. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves on fire? Russell.
13. Why did the eye doctor refuse to become a soldier? He didn’t want to lose his pupils.
14. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hot tub? Stu.

Final Take Away from these Funny Eye Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Eye jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.