Navy Jokes are a dime a dozen. sailors have a long tradition of telling tall tales, and navy jokes are just one more way to pass the time and make people laugh. From stories about life on the high seas to practical jokes that sailors play on each other, navy humor has something for everyone. Sailors have to be creative folks because their time is limited, so they come up with ways to entertain each other. Every ship has its own way of doing things and the sailors often make up funny names for them.
What do you call a sailor in the middle of an ocean?
Lost.
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Why did the captain make his ship so fast?
He wanted to get away from the pirates.
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What is a sailor’s favorite place to relax?
It’s on a boat.
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What do you call a man who knows everything about the sea?
A sailor.
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Why are sailors like corn flakes?
They are easy to digest.
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What do you call a sailor who is afraid of the ocean?
A land lover.
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Why are ships like mobile homes?
They both have anchors and take in water.
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What did the farmer say when he saw the sailors on his farm?
I want to go to sea.
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What do you call a sailor that can’t swim?
A submarine.
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What do you call a sailor with one hand?
Nameless.
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Why don’t the sailors want to go on the pirate ship?
Because they’re afraid of being shanghaied.
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What do you call a sailor with two dicks?
A seaman.
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What do you call a sailor with one leg?
Seaman.
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To get away from their wives.
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What do you get when you cross a sailor and a sailor?
An ocean of troubles.
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What is the difference between a gay ship and a straight ship?
A gay ship has a rainbow on the side.
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Why couldn’t the sailor get into his bunk?
He was up to his ears in debt.
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What do you call a sailor with a dollar on his head?
A target.
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What do sailors use to make their coffee?
A percolator.
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Why did the sailor have to go to the hospital?
Because his ship came in.
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What do you call a sailor who can’t swim?
A shipwreck.
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Why did the sailor climb up the mast?
To see what was at the top of it.
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Why are sailors so good at math?
Because they know how to count freighters.
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Because it has a captain and all the rest are just crew.
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Why did the sailor marry the mermaid?
It wasn’t her fault that they met in the sea.
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What do you call a sailor with a dollar on his head?
A target.
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What do sailors use to make their coffee?
A percolator.
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What do you get when you cross a sailor and a shark?
A submarine.
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What did the shipwrecked sailor say to his rescuers?
Take me off! I’m sinking!
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Why did the pirate take the job as a cook?
It was sink or swim.
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What do you call it when an army officer is buried at sea?
A promotion.
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Why did the army man go to the psychiatrist?
He thought he was a moth.
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How do you know that a marine is a good cook?
By their special spices.
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What do you call an army cook?
A mess sergeant.
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Why did the army man cross the road?
He saw the chicken on the other side.
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What’s a sailor’s worst nightmare?
An army with a navy.
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Why did the captain of the ship give his watch to the sailor?
Sailors never tell time.
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What do you call a soldier who doesn’t fight?
A deserter.
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The army tank has the right of way.
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Why did the soldier go to the psychiatrist?
He thought he was a tree.
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What do you call a soldier who can’t swim?
A deserter.
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What do you call an army nurse?
A field-stripper.
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“You can’t fight in here, this is the war room.”
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What’s a sailor’s favorite snack?
Salty nuts.
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His ship was at sea.
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“You can’t fight in here, this is the war room.”
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An artist.
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What’s a sailor’s favorite snack?
Salty nuts.
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His ship was at sea.
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“You can’t fight in here, this is the war room.
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An artist.
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“Man overboard! Man overboard!
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What’s a sailor’s favourite snack?
Salty nuts.
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“Great Caesar’s ghost!”
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What do you call a policeman with three eyes?
A seagull.
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What do you call a soldier who is afraid of the water?
A landlubbe.
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Fill it with water.
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How do you sink a battleship?
Scrap iron.
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He gets a little prick.
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What did the sailor say when his ship sank?
“I hope we all have life jackets!”
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Fill it with water.
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“Great Caesar’s ghost!”
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What do you call a policeman with three eyes?
A seagull.
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How many sailors does it take to change a light bulb?
None, it’s not dark yet.
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“Hang on, I’m coming down!”
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How do you sink a battleship?
Scrap iron.
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A hulk.
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Very wet.
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In conclusion, navy jokes are a fun way to pass the time and bond with fellow sailors. They can also be a source of motivation and morale boosting during difficult times at sea. So next time you’re feeling sea-sick or homesick, remember that there’s always someone out there who understands your situation and is willing to share a laugh with you.
