70 Grass Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Green jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Green jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Green jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Green jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Green Jokes

1. Why did the grass get a bad grade? Because it didn’t make the cut.
2. What do you call a lazy blade of grass? A lawn slacker.
3. How does a grass cutting joke start? With a lawnmower.
4. Why did the grass refuse to leave? Because it was rooted in place.
5. What do you call grass that’s always happy? A blade of joy.
6. Why did the grass cross the road? To get to the greener side.
7. What do you call a grasshopper with no legs? A grasssopper.
8. Why do cows graze on grass? They can’t eat milkshakes.
9. What’s a grass’s favorite music genre? Hip-hop.
10. Why did the gardener plant his watch in the grass? He wanted to grow a watch-dog.
11. Why did the grass go to the doctor? It was feeling a little lawnly.
12. Why did the grass call the police? Someone stepped on its turf.
13. What do you call a grass-covered car? A lawnmobile.
14. Why did the grasshopper break up with his girlfriend? She was too controlling, always telling him to hop to it.

Green Jokes for Kids

1. Why don’t ants get lost in the grass? Because they take anthill-aries.
2. What’s a grass’s favorite type of sandwich? A sub-grass.
3. Why did the grasshopper go to space? To visit the grass-stronauts.
4. What’s a grass’s favorite drink? Lemon-grass tea.
5. Why did the grasshopper take a job as a door-to-door salesman? He wanted to hop from house to house.
6. What do you call a grasshopper who plays baseball? A home-hopper.
7. Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor? It was feeling jumpy.
8. Why was the grass afraid of the lawnmower? It was afraid of getting a close shave.
9. What’s the grass’s favorite holiday? Lawnsgiving.
10. Why did the grasshopper go to the gym? To work on its hops.
11. What do you call a grass that’s always telling jokes? A funny blade.
12. Why did the grass get a ticket? It was parked on the wrong side of the lawn.
13. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always on the phone? A chatter-hopper.
14. Why did the grasshopper join a rock band? It wanted to be a hop star.

Funny Green Jokes

1. What’s a grass’s favorite video game? Blades of Glory.
2. Why was the grasshopper fired from his job as a waiter? He kept dropping the plates.
3. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always working? A hopperational.
4. Why did the grasshopper go to the hospital? It broke its hopper leg.
5. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always angry? A hop-temperamental.
6. Why did the grass go to the bar? It wanted to get mowed down.
7. What’s a grass’s favorite instrument? The lawn-bro.
8. Why did the grasshopper go to the tailor? It wanted a hopper suit.
9. **What do you call a grasshopper who’s always traveling? A globetrotter-hopper.
10. Why did the grasshopper go to the dance party? To do the hop.
11. What do you call a grasshopper with a cold? A sneezy-hopper.
12. Why did the grasshopper buy a guitar? It wanted to play hoppy music.
13. What’s a grass’s favorite TV show? Breaking Lawn.
14. Why did the grasshopper join a sports team? It wanted to be a hop-scotch player.

Green Jokes One-liners

1. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always baking? A hoppy chef.
2. Why did the grasshopper take a job as a delivery driver? It wanted to hop around town.
3. What’s a grass’s favorite hobby? Lawn bowling.
4. Why did the grasshopper go to the beach? To catch some sun and do some hopscotch.
5. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always reading? A book-hopper.
6. Why did the grasshopper go to the party? To show off its fancy hop-dancing moves.
7. What’s a grass’s favorite movie? The Shawshank Reseedption.
8. Why did the grasshopper join a circus? It wanted to be a high-hopper.
9. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always daydreaming? A hoppy-go-lucky.
10. Why did the grasshopper take up photography? It wanted to hop-pose for the camera.
11. What’s a grass’s favorite game? Hopscotch.
12. Why did the grasshopper join a choir? It wanted to be a hoppy singer.
13. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always fishing? A rod-hopper.
14. Why did the grasshopper go to the theme park? To ride the hop-on hop-off rollercoaster.

Green Jokes and Puns

1. What’s a grass’s favorite book? The Great Gatsby (Grass-by).
2. Why did the grasshopper take a job as a comedian? It wanted to hop around and make people laugh.
3. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always cooking? A hoppy-culinary.
4. Why did the grasshopper go to the circus? To see the high-hopping acrobats.
5. What’s a grass’s favorite dessert? Grasshopper pie.
6. Why did the grasshopper become a detective? It wanted to solve hop-crimes.
7. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always painting? An art-hopper.
8. Why did the grasshopper join a dance group? It wanted to learn new hop moves.
9. What’s a grass’s favorite sport? Golf, because it involves grass and hopping.
10. Why did the grasshopper start a blog? It wanted to share hop-tips with the world.
11. What do you call a grasshopper who’s always playing video games? A hoppy gamer.
12. Why did the grasshopper take up yoga? It wanted to hop into shape.
13. What’s a grass’s favorite social media platform? Vine (RIP).
14. Why did the grasshopper go to the library? To borrow some hoppy books.

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Green Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Green jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.