70 Hammer Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Hammer jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Hammer jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Hammer jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Hammer jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Hammer Jokes

1. Why did the hammer go to the therapist? Because it was feeling a little rusty.
2. What did one hammer say to the other? “Nail it!”
3. Why was the hammer sent to jail? Because it committed a battery.
4. What did the hammer say when it hit its thumb? “Nail it!”
5. How does a hammer go on vacation? By nail-ing it.
6. What do you call a hammer that doesn’t work? A nail.
7. What’s the hammer’s favorite movie? Thor: Ragnarok.
8. Why did the hammer refuse to work? It was hammered.
9. What do you call a hammer with a headache? A pounding tool.
10. Why did the hammer call the police? It was hammered and needed a ride home.
11. What’s the difference between a hammer and a politician? You can actually trust a hammer to do its job.
12. What do you call a hammer that’s afraid of nails? A scaredy tool.
13. What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? “You’re turning me on.”
14. Why did the hammer break up with the screwdriver? It found a new screw.

Hammer Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the hammer get a ticket? It was caught speeding on the highway.
2. What do you call a hammer that’s really good at math? A calculus tool.
3. What did the hammer say to the saw? “You’re looking sharp today.”
4. Why did the hammer go to the bar? To get hammered.
5. What do you call a hammer that’s really strong? A pound-for-pound tool.
6. Why did the hammer get into a fight with the wrench? It thought the wrench was a hammer thief.
7. What did the hammer say when it was asked to work overtime? “I can’t handle the pressure.”
8. Why did the hammer refuse to work with the screwdriver? It didn’t want to get screwed over.
9. What do you call a hammer that’s addicted to caffeine? An espresso tool.
10. Why did the hammer feel lonely? It was a lone nailer.
11. What do you call a hammer that’s good at singing? A melodic tool.
12. Why did the hammer’s girlfriend break up with him? He was too clingy.
13. What did the hammer say to the nail when it was done hammering it? “I nailed it!”
14. Why did the hammer go to the gym? To work on its biceps.

Funny Hammer Jokes

1. What do you call a hammer that’s really fast? A rapid tool.
2. Why did the hammer quit its job? It couldn’t handle the stress.
3. What do you call a hammer that’s really clumsy? A butterfingers tool.
4. Why did the hammer go to the eye doctor? It couldn’t see straight.
5. What did the hammer say to the woodpecker? “I’m the original pecker.”
6. Why did the hammer break up with the screwdriver? It couldn’t handle the screwing around.
7. What do you call a hammer that’s really weak? A lightweight tool.
8. Why did the hammer’s friends make fun of it? It was always hitting on everything.
9. What do you call a hammer that’s always in a hurry? A rush tool.
10. Why did the hammer stop hanging out with the pliers?** It found them too nosy.
11. What did the hammer say to the saw when it complimented its muscles? “I’m just getting ripped by the minute!”
12. Why did the hammer feel bad about itself? It had low self-hammereem.
13. What did the hammer say to the ruler? “You measure up to my standards.”
14. Why did the hammer feel like a failure? It couldn’t nail a job interview.

Hammer Jokes One-liners

1. What do you call a hammer that’s also a lawyer? A slam-dunk tool.
2. Why did the hammer go on a diet? It wanted to be a lean, mean hammering machine.
3. What do you call a hammer that’s really into nature? An eco-tool.
4. Why did the hammer think it was a superhero? It could pound anything into submission.
5. What did the hammer say to the drill? “You really know how to make a hole in my heart.”
6. Why did the hammer go to the dentist? It had a tooth that needed hammering out.
7. What do you call a hammer that’s also a detective? A clue-hammer tool.
8. Why did the hammer think it was a musical instrument? It could drum up a beat.
9. What did the hammer say to the chisel? “Let’s carve out a friendship.”
10. Why did the hammer have a hard time making friends? It was too blunt.
11. What do you call a hammer that’s also a fashion designer? A haute hammer tool.
12. Why did the hammer feel lonely at the hardware store? It was a lone tool.
13. What did the hammer say to the level? “You always keep me on the straight and narrow.”
14. Why did the hammer go to the beach? To catch some waves.

Hammer Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a hammer that’s always bragging about itself? An egotool.
2. Why did the hammer think it was a comedian? It had a knack for hammering out jokes.
3. What did the hammer say to the screw? “You’re driving me nuts!”
4. Why did the hammer feel unappreciated? It felt like it was always getting the shaft.
5. What do you call a hammer that’s also a chef? A poundcake tool.
6. Why did the hammer go to the therapist? It had trouble dealing with all the hammering.
7. What did the hammer say to the staple? “You’re not the only one who can bind things together.”
8. Why did the hammer think it was a ninja? It could hammer things without making a sound.
9. What do you call a hammer that’s also a poet? A rhyming tool.
10. Why did the hammer feel like a failure at the construction site? It couldn’t nail a deadline.
11. What did the hammer say to the file? “You’re really sharp, but I’m always on point.”
12. Why did the hammer think it was a doctor? It could heal any broken thing.
13. What do you call a hammer that’s always joking around? A pun-ishing tool.
14. Why did the hammer feel like it was losing its grip? It was getting too hammered.

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Hammer Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Hammer jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.