70 Knife Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Knife jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Knife jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Knife jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Knife jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Knife Jokes

1. Why did the knife go to the psychiatrist? Because it had a lot of cutting problems.
2. What did one knife say to the other knife? “I like the way you handle things.”
3. Why did the knife break up with the fork? Because they were always arguing about who had the sharper wit.
4. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the knife.
5. Why did the knife take a selfie? Because it wanted to show off its sharp image.
6. Why did the chef refuse to use dull knives? Because he couldn’t cut it in the kitchen without them.
7. What do you call a knife that’s always in a hurry? A cutlery.
8. Why did the knife feel lonely? Because it couldn’t make any friends with the butter knives.
9. What do you call a knife that’s always a hit with the ladies? A cut above the rest.
10. Why did the butter knife feel useless? Because it couldn’t cut it in the kitchen.
11. Why did the knife hate working at the movie theater? Because it was tired of slicing the prices.
12. What do you call a knife that’s always on time? Punctualty.
13. Why did the knife go to school? To get a sharp education.
14. What did the knife say to the cheese? “You’re grate.”

Knife Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the knife get mad at the fork? Because the fork kept taking credit for all the cutting-edge ideas.
2. Why did the chef feel bad for the dull knives? Because they were never sharp enough to cut the mustard.
3. Why did the knife go to the gym? To work on its cutting edge.
4. Why did the knife fail the test? Because it couldn’t make the cut.
5. What do you call a knife that’s afraid of everything? A chicken chopper.
6. Why did the knife go to the doctor? Because it had a splitting headache.
7. Why did the knife feel awkward at the party? Because it was the only sharp object in the room.
8. What do you call a knife that’s good with numbers? A calculater.
9. Why did the knife get into trouble at school? Because it was always cutting class.
10. Why did the knife break up with the spoon? Because it wanted to be the sharp one in the relationship.
11. What did the knife say to the apple? “I’ve got a sharp eye for you.”
12. Why did the knife feel bad for the spoon? Because it could never cut the mustard.
13. Why did the knife feel nervous at the wedding? Because it was the best man’s speech.
14. What do you call a knife that’s really fast? A slicer.

Funny Knife Jokes

1. Why did the knife refuse to work with the fork? Because it was tired of being stabbed in the back.
2. Why did the knife feel depressed? Because it had too many sharp edges.
3. What do you call a knife that’s always changing? A swiss blade.
4. Why did the knife feel embarrassed at the party? Because it couldn’t handle the cheese.
5. Why did the knife feel left out? Because it wasn’t part of the cutting-edge technology.
6. What did one knife say to the other when they got separated? “We’re not cut out for this.”
7. Why did the knife feel paranoid? Because it thought someone was following its every move.
8. What do you call a knife that’s a big fan of Harry Potter? A sword of Gryffindor.
9. Why did the knife feel excited? Because it was going on a cutting-edge adventure.
10. Why did the knife feel confused? Because it couldn’t cut through the silence.
11. What do you call a knife that’s good at math? A fraction cutter.
12. Why did the knife feel betrayed? Because it found out the spoon was actually a spy for the forks.
13. Why did the knife feel proud? Because it was the sharpest tool in the shed.

Knife Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the knife feel disappointed? Because it couldn’t cut the mustard.
2. What do you call a knife that’s a big fan of Star Wars? A lightsaber.
3. Why did the knife feel uneasy? Because it sensed danger was lurking around the corner.
4. Why did the knife feel powerful? Because it had the ability to cut through anything.
5. What do you call a knife that’s a great storyteller? A cutting-edge raconteur.
6. Why did the knife feel anxious? Because it was about to cut the cake and didn’t want to mess up.
7. Why did the knife feel frustrated? Because it couldn’t cut a break.
8. What do you call a knife that’s always in a rush? A quick slice.
9. Why did the knife feel adventurous? Because it was always willing to take a stab at new things.
10. Why did the knife feel regretful? Because it had cut too deep and couldn’t take it back.
11. What do you call a knife that’s a big fan of Lord of the Rings? A blade of Gondor.
12. Why did the knife feel curious? Because it wanted to know what was on the cutting edge of technology.
13. Why did the knife feel intimidated? Because it was up against a cutting-edge competitor.
14. What do you call a knife that’s good with words? A sharp tongue.

Knife Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the knife feel happy? Because it had finally found its edge.
2. Why did the knife feel conflicted? Because it didn’t want to cut ties with its past, but knew it had to move on.
3. What do you call a knife that’s a great comedian? A cut-up.
4. Why did the knife feel invincible? Because it had a cutting wit.
5. Why did the knife feel suspicious? Because it thought someone had been sharpening their wit at its expense.
6. What do you call a knife that’s a big fan of Marvel? A blade of Thanos.
7. Why did the knife feel envious? Because the scissors got to cut the ribbon at the grand opening.
8. Why did the knife feel sentimental? Because it had been passed down through generations.
9. What do you call a knife that’s a great artist? A cutting-edge illustrator.
10. Why did the knife feel defeated? Because it couldn’t cut through the bureaucracy.
11. Why did the knife feel competitive? Because it was always trying to stay one cut above the rest.
12. What do you call a knife that’s a big fan of DC Comics? A blade of Batman.
13. Why did the knife feel satisfied? Because it had finally found

Final Take Away from these Funny Knife Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Knife jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.