70 Lawyer Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little ligheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Lawyer jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Lawyer jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Lawyer jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Lawyer jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Lawyer Jokes

1. Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the courthouse on the other side!
2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a sea creature.
3. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t know the law? Your Honor.
4. How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
5. Why did the lawyer go to bed? Because he was trying to pass the bar.
6. What do you call a lawyer who is always busy? A law-busy-an.
7. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The vulture eventually lets go.
8. What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
9. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
10. What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a vampire? A blood-sucking attorney.
11. Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they’re really nice people.
12. What do you call a group of lawyers playing hide-and-seek? A lawsuit.
13. Why do they call it legal briefs? Because they’re often too brief.
14. Why did the lawyer become a vegetarian? Because he wanted to reduce his legal fees.

Lawyer Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A solicitor-turned-sour.
2. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Because they don’t want to be accused of pier pressure.
3. What do you call a lawyer who can’t swim? Your honor.
4. Why did the lawyer go skydiving? He wanted to experience the thrill of a lawsuit.
5. Why did the lawyer go to the chiropractor? He had a brief case.
6. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
7. What do you call a lawyer who is perpetually lost? A legal-wanderer.
8. Why don’t lawyers tell jokes? They don’t want to waive their right to remain silent.
9. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers more often? Sharks don’t like pro-bono work.
10. Why do lawyers make good lovers? They’re used to defending a position.
11. What do you call a lawyer who only takes cases for free? Broke.
12. Why did the lawyer go to the doctor? He had a case of litigation.
13. Why do they call it a “briefcase”? Because it’s not big enough to be called a lawsuit.
14. Why did the lawyer break up with his girlfriend? He wanted to file for divorce.

Funny Lawyer Jokes

1. What do you call a lawyer who is always telling jokes? The defendant.
2. Why did the lawyer refuse to take on the case of the bed? It was too soft.
3. Why did the lawyer go to the bank? He wanted to file a loan.
4. What do you call a lawyer who is always on the phone? An appellate lawyer.
5. Why don’t lawyers ever get sick? They have good briefs.
6. Why do lawyers make bad fishermen? They always throw back the big ones.
7. What do you call a lawyer who works at an aquarium? A shark attorney.
8. Why don’t lawyers wear leather jackets? Because they don’t want to be mistaken for a barrister.
9. What do you call a group of lawyers arguing in court? A justice league.
10. Why did the lawyer refuse to take on the case of the broken pencil? It was pointless.
11. Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court? He was hoping to raise the bar.
12. Why did the lawyer become a comedian? To appeal to a jury of his peers.
13. What do you call a lawyer who practices bird law? A legal eagle.

Lawyer Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the lawyer wear a watch to court? He wanted to make sure he billed his time accurately.
2. What do you call a lawyer who can’t argue? A solicitor.
3. Why did the lawyer go on a diet? He wanted to reduce his billable hours.
4. Why did the lawyer bring a map to court? He didn’t want to get lost in legal jargon.
5. What do you call a lawyer who can’t swim or ride a bike? A legal immobile.
6. Why did the lawyer become a pilot? He wanted to reach new heights in his career.
7. What do you call a lawyer who works at a bowling alley? A strike attorney.
8. Why did the lawyer go to the beach? To serve some subpoenas.
9. What do you call a lawyer who only takes cases involving water? A maritime attorney.
10. Why did the lawyer go to the art museum? He was trying to brush up on his legal briefs.
11. What do you call a lawyer who is always tired? A law-tired-ian.
12. Why did the lawyer become a musician? He wanted to practice his scales of justice.
13. What do you call a lawyer who specializes in medical malpractice? An attorney-at-flaw.
14. Why did the lawyer become a therapist? He wanted to help his clients work through their legal issues.

Lawyer Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a lawyer who works for Santa Claus? A sleigh-er of legal issues.
2. Why did the lawyer become a detective? He wanted to uncover the truth about the law.
3. What do you call a lawyer who works for the government? A civil servant.
4. Why did the lawyer become a plumber? He wanted to be an expert in legal pipes.
5. What do you call a lawyer who is always in a hurry? A legal speedster.
6. Why did the lawyer bring a calculator to court? To make sure he was billing his clients correctly.
7. What do you call a lawyer who is also a doctor? A juris-doctor.
8. Why did the lawyer become a teacher? He wanted to educate his clients on their legal rights.
9. What do you call a lawyer who only takes cases involving animals? A pet-torney.
10. Why did the lawyer go to the gym? He was trying to build up his legal muscle.
11. What do you call a lawyer who works for a circus? A clown-sel.
12. Why did the lawyer become a hairdresser? He wanted to be an expert in legal tangles.
13. What do you call a lawyer who is also a magician? A sleight-of-hand-lawyer.
14. Why did the lawyer become a scientist? He wanted to explore the laws of the universe.

Final Take Away from these Funny Lawyer Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Lawyer jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.