70 Monday Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Monday jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Monday jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Monday jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Monday jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Monday Jokes

1. Why did the computer go to Monday’s party? To get a byte to eat!
2. What did Monday say to Tuesday? Nothing, they just waved!
3. Why was the math book sad on Monday? Because it had too many problems.
4. Why did the banana go to work on Monday? Because it couldn’t get a date for Saturday night.
5. Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
6. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses on Monday? Because her students were so bright.
7. Why did the frog call his insurance company on Monday? He had a jump in his car.
8. Why did the calendar feel unwell on Monday? Because it had a lot of dates to keep.
9. Why did the chicken cross the road on Monday? To get to the other side!
10. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road on Monday? Because it ran out of juice.
11. Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? Because it was two-tired.
12. Why did the man put his money in the freezer on Monday? He wanted cold hard cash.
13. Why did the clown go to the doctor on Monday? Because he was feeling a little funny.
14. Why did the doctor carry a red pen on Monday? In case he needed to draw blood.

Monday Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the tomato blush on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing.
2. Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Monday? Because it was feeling crumbly.
3. Why did the skeleton go to the party on Monday? To see if he could get a body to dance with.
4. Why did the cat wear a fancy hat on Monday? Because it was a meow-velous day!
5. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend on Monday? He needed space.
6. Why did the squirrel go to the doctor on Monday? Because it was nuts.
7. Why did the carrot go to the doctor on Monday? It needed a root canal.
8. Why did the robot go on a diet on Monday? It was starting to rust.
9. Why did the tree go to the dentist on Monday? To get a root canal.
10. Why did the pirate go to the Apple store on Monday? To get an iPatch.
11. Why did the cow go to the moon on Monday? To see if the Milky Way was really made of milk.
12. Why did the farmer go to the doctor on Monday? To get his celery checked.
13. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
14. Why did the bee go to the bar on Monday? To get a buzz.

Funny Monday Jokes

1. Why did the math book look so sad on Monday? It had too many problems.
2. Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? It saw the salad dressing and got all saucy.
3. Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? It was two-tired to stand.
4. Why did the cookie go to the doctor on Monday? It felt crumbly and needed to be checked.
5. Why did the ghost go to the bar on Monday? To get a booooooo-ze.
6. Why did the rocket ship break up with its girlfriend on Monday? It needed space to explore the universe.
7. Why did the dog go to the bank on Monday? To get his tail wagged.
8. Why did the elephant buy a new computer on Monday? To save memory.
9. Why did the fish go to the doctor on Monday? It was feeling a little fishy.
10. Why did the vampire go to the doctor on Monday? It had a bat cold.
11. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend on Monday? He needed space.
12. Why did the snowman wear a hat on Monday? Because it was chilly outside.
13. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole in one.
14. Why did the book go to the doctor on Monday? It lost its spine.

Monday Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the chicken join a band on Monday? To play drumsticks.
2. Why did the robot go to the bank on Monday? To get a new set of circuits.
3. Why did the bird go to the vet on Monday? It had a tweet injury.
4. Why did the tree go to the gym on Monday? To get more trunk-ated.
5. Why did the clock go to the dance on Monday? It wanted to go hands in hands.
6. Why did the ghost go to the party on Monday? To have a haunting good time.
7. Why did the jelly bean go to school on Monday? To learn how to be a smarty candy.
8. Why did the koala go to the doctor on Monday? It had a eucalyptus problem.
9. Why did the flower go to the dentist on Monday? To get its root checked.
10. Why did the snake go to the doctor on Monday? It had a hiss-terical problem.
11. Why did the light bulb go to the gym on Monday? To get a little brighter.
12. Why did the turtle go to the bank on Monday? To deposit some shell money.
13. Why did the horse go to the doctor on Monday? It had a little neigh-say attitude.
14. Why did the bee go to the hair salon on Monday? To get a buzz cut.

Monday Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the cheese go to the doctor on Monday? It was feeling a little blue.
2. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend on Monday? He needed space.
3. Why did the skunk go to the doctor on Monday? It had a little odor problem.
4. Why did the grape go to the doctor on Monday? It was feeling a little raisin-able.
5. Why did the caterpillar go to the gym on Monday? To do some butterfly presses.
6. Why did the banana go to the doctor on Monday? It was peeling under the weather.
7. Why did the owl go to the doctor on Monday? It had a little hoo-rtburn.
8. Why did the computer go to the doctor on Monday? It had a virus.
9. Why did the dinosaur go to the party on Monday? To have a roar-some time.
10. Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend on Monday? He needed space.
11. Why did the bear go to the dentist on Monday? To get its claws checked.
12. Why did the giraffe go to the gym on Monday? To work on its neck muscles.
13. Why did the potato go to the doctor on Monday? It had a bad case of eyesight.
14. Why did the fisherman go to work on Monday? To tackle the week ahead.

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Monday Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Monday jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.