Mormon Jokes and puns that will crack you up!

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There are a lot of Mormon jokes out there. Some of them are funny, and some of them are not so funny. But all of them are meant to be taken in good fun. So if you’re looking for a laugh, here are some of the best Mormon jokes around.

 

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Mormon Jokes

Q: What do you call a woman who is half-Mormon, half-Jewish?

A: A polygamist who dislikes sex!

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Mormon Jokes 1

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Q: Why are prison officials stating Polygamist leader Warren Jeffs is now hospitalized after not eating, drinking enough?

A: Apparently, he prefers kids meals.

Mormon Jokes 2

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Q: How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Zero. Mormons don’t use light bulbs because they can’t see the light.

Mormon Jokes 3

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Q: How many Mormon missionaries does it take to eat a possum?

A: Three. One to eat it and two to watch out for cars.

Mormon Jokes 4

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Q: What are The LDS 6 P’s for perfection?

A:…presidency…patriarchs…priesthoods…payees…prozac.

Mormon Jokes 5

 

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Q: Why will Mormons be the first one’s to get to heaven?

A: Because the Bible says that; “the dead in Christ shall rise first”.

Mormon Jokes 6

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Q: What do you call a good looking woman in Salt Lake City?

A: A Tourist!

Mormon Jokes 7

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Q: Did you hear about the Mormon who went ice fishing?

A: He brought home 100lbs of ice.

Mormon Jokes 8

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Q: Why should polygamy be legal?

A: Any guy willing to take multiple wives is punishment enough!

Mormon Jokes 9

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Q: Why couldn’t the baby Jesus be born in Utah?

A: Because they couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Mormon Jokes 10

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Q: Why did Brigham, the leader of the Latter Day Saints, have so many wives?

A: Because he was Young at heart.

Mormon Jokes 11

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Funny Mormon Jokes

Q: What’s the difference between a Utah State coed and an elephant?

A: About 10 pounds.

Mormon Jokes 12

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Q: Why are there so many unsolved murders in Utah?

A: There are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA

Mormon Jokes 13

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Q: Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans to Mormons?

A: Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Mormon Jokes 14

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Q: What do they call mormons who go to University of Utah?

A: Rejects from BYU!

Mormon Jokes 15

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Q: What does a Mormon do when his team has won the BCS championship?

A: He turns off the PlayStation 4.

Mormon Jokes 16

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Q: What did the Mormon female say after sex?

A: Get off me Dad, you’re crushing my smokes!

Mormon Jokes 17

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What’s the difference between the Mormons and Donald Trump?

One has millions of religious zealots that think you’re going to Hell and the rest of the world can’t stand. The other’s a church.

Mormon Jokes 18

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A Baptist, a Mormon, and a Muslim walk into a bar…

The Baptist says, “What the hell are we doing here?”

Mormon Jokes 19

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Which woman is the Holy symbol of the mormon church?

Mother Mary me

Mormon Jokes 20

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What do you call a Mormon who switches religion?

A mormoff!

Mormon Jokes 21

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Mormon jokes to start a talk

Joseph Smith sold so many copies of the Book of Mormon

That they made him a prophet.

Mormon Jokes 22

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What do you call a Mormon gynecologist?

A Box Elder.

Mormon Jokes 23

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I couldn’t be a Mormon even if I wanted to.

My parents weren’t related at all.

Mormon Jokes 24

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Why do Mormons get away with murder?

The all share DNA

Mormon Jokes 25

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What did the Frat boy say when the Mormon handed him a piece of paper?

Bro sure.

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Why don’t the mormons just open their own Hospital if praying really works?

Because you can’t make money off of prayers.

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What’s a Mormon’s favorite treat?

Ding Dongs

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Where can you find a mormon horse?

Salt Lick City.

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Singers of the Mormon Tabernacle are home.

They’re under *choir*antine.

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What’s the opposite of a Mormon?

An oxymormon.

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Mormon jokes short

What’s the difference between a Mormon man and a Muslim man.

A Mormon man gets 72 virgins and THEN kills himself.

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Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon

I heard he graduated top of his class at Bring Em Young University

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How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don’t know, they keep coming to my house and they aren’t changing anything.

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Why do Mormons get married on Black Friday?

Because they get 2 for 1.

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What’s a Mormon’s favorite sexual position?

You’d probably think it’s missionary, but i’m pretty sure they’d try the back door if they had the chance.

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Mormons believe…

Mormons believe in wife after death.

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What do R. Kelly fans and Mormons have in common?

They both defend sexual predators.

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Why can’t you take a Mormon speed dating?

He’ll start pushing all the tables together.

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Anti mormon jokes

What do you get when you cross a Hells Angel with a Mormon?

Somebody that comes to your house and tells YOU to fuck off.

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Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church?

She wanted a high paying missionary position.

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Why did the man convert to Mormonism?

Because he wanted to have his Kate, and Edith, too!

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Why do you always invite two Mormons to a party?

Because if you invite only one, he’ll drink all the booze.

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Why did the Mormon elder get in trouble for dating twenty nine year olds?

I mean, there was twenty of them….

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Mormons are really nice people. They all smile at you.

Some of them even blink.

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What do the Brits call Mormons?

knock knock blokes.

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Mormons be like, “you know what’d be fun?”

Doesn’t matter.

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A Mormon family is checking into a hotel. The father says, “I hope the p*rn in this room is disabled.”

“No it’s just regular, you weirdo.”

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What do you call a Mormon who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have sex with strangers?

An oxymormon.

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Why do Mormons think Christ’s second coming will be in America?

Because they think he will end their Missouri.

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What’s the difference between Mormons and Baptists?

Baptists say hello to each other in the liquor store

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Beleive it or not, Mormons do have sex.

Let that fact soak in.

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Why did the Mormon cross the road?

To get to the other bride

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Did you hear about the Mormon cat?

He had nine wives.

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What do Mormons play instead of “F*ck, Marry, Kill”?

Marry, Marry, Marry

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What is a mormon missionary’s favorite type of car?

a convertible

Conclusion Of Mormon Jokes

In conclusion, Mormon jokes are funny because they’re true. Mormons are a funny people, and we should all laugh at ourselves. Mormon jokes are a way for us to do that.

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