70 Pirate Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Pirate jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Pirate jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Pirate jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Pirate jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Pirate Jokes

1. Why did the pirate refuse to say the alphabet? Because he always got stuck at “C”!
2. Why did the pirate go on a diet? Because he wanted to lose some booty.
3. Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
4. Why do pirates love parrots? Because they can always count on them for some good squawks.
5. What did the pirate say when he saw his shipmate steering the ship with his knees? “Arr, matey, that’s knee-vigation!”
6. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap with them? So they can wash ashore.
7. Why did the pirate become a librarian? Because he loved the arrr-t of books!
8. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s “Arr,” but it’s actually the “C”!
9. Why do pirates always carry a map with them? So they can find their treasure chest.
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise? The plank.
11. Why did the pirate captain refuse to buy a new pair of shoes? He said they were arrr-ch support.
12. What did the pirate say when he got his ears pierced? “Arr, matey, now I can hear the jingle of my treasure better!”
13. Why did the pirate go to the Apple store? To buy an iPatch.
14. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? “I’m matey-ally too old for this!”

Pirate Jokes for Kids

1. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hooky.
2. Why don’t pirates play cards? Because they’re always standing on the deck.
3. What did the pirate say when he saw his parrot on fire? “Arr, Polly wants a fire extinguisher!”
4. Why do pirates love baseball? Because they always try to steal home.
5. What’s a pirate’s favorite color? You guessed it, arr-range.
6. Why do pirates make terrible singers? They can never hit the high C.
7. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cookie? Ships ahoy!
8. Why did the pirate wear a paper towel on his head? Because he had a bounty on his head.
9. What did the pirate say when he saw his matey steering the ship with his feet? “Arr, matey, that’s sole-navigating!”
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite restaurant? Arrrby’s.
11. Why do pirates love playing poker? They love having a hand of jacks.
12. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie? Treasure Planet.
13. Why did the pirate go on vacation to the Caribbean? He needed a little arrr and arrr.
14. What did the pirate say when he saw his treasure chest full of chocolate? “Arr, matey, this is a sweet loot!”

Funny Pirate Jokes

1. Why did the pirate go to the gym? To work on his plank muscles.
2. What do you call a pirate who likes to show off his wealth? A swashbuckler.
3. Why did the pirate break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too self-arr-gant.
4. What do you call a pirate who can’t swim? A sinker.
5. What did the pirate say when he found out he had a yeast infection? “Arr, me hearty, I must have caught it from me sourdough!”
6. Why do pirates prefer using iPhones over Androids? Because they arrrrrr more user-friendly.
7. What did the pirate say to his crew when they discovered a treasure map? “X marks the spot, me hearties!”
8. Why don’t pirates get lonely on the high seas? Because they’re always talking to their shipmates.
9. What do pirates use to keep their pants up? Buccaneer belts.
10. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He had a case of scurvy-dumplings.
11. What’s a pirate’s favorite game? Captain’s orders.
12. Why do pirates like wearing eye patches? So they can keep an eye out for treasure with one eye, and keep the other eye on their shipmates.
13. What did the pirate say when he lost his treasure map? “Well shiver me timbers, I’ve lost me way!”
14. Why did the pirate bring a mop to the party? To swab the deck.

Pirate Jokes One-liners

1. What’s a pirate’s favorite way to communicate? Carrier pigeons – or as they call them, carrier parrots.
2. Why did the pirate go to the dentist? He had a bad case of root canal-beard.
3. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie.
4. What did the pirate say to the bartender when he ordered a drink? “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, me hearty!”
5. Why did the pirate take a shower with his clothes on? He wanted to keep his booty dry.
6. What’s a pirate’s favorite book genre? Swashbuckling adventures.
7. Why did the pirate quit his job at the shoe store? He got tired of saying “Ahoy there, matey!” to every customer who walked in.
8. What did the pirate say when he saw a ship approaching? “Avast, me hearties, prepare to board!”
9. Why did the pirate refuse to buy a new hat? He said it was his treasure hat.
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of cheese? Cheddarrrrrrr.
11. Why did the pirate go to the pet store? He wanted to get a new matey – a fish named Squishy.
12. What do pirates use to keep their hair in place? A bandana-na-na-na.
13. Why did the pirate get lost in the supermarket? He couldn’t find the arrr-ganic section.
14. What’s a pirate’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because they can dress up as themselves.

Pirate Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the pirate get kicked out of the movie theater? He kept yelling “Avast!” during the movie.
2. What did the pirate say when he saw his favorite shipmate? “Ahoy, matey, long time no sea!”
3. Why did the pirate get a tattoo of a ship on his chest? Because he wanted to feel like he had a crew.
4. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of music? Sea shanties.
5. Why did the pirate refuse to go on a blind date? He said he already had an eyepatch.
6. What do you call a pirate with no legs and no arms? A driftwood.
7. Why did the pirate get mad when he got a parking ticket? He said it was a bunch of bilge-rot!
8. What did the pirate say when he got a promotion at work? “Arr, matey, I’ve been promoted to captain!”
9. Why did the pirate go to the eye doctor? He was having trouble with his eye-patch.
10. What’s a pirate’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The plank ride.
11. Why did the pirate refuse to take a nap? He said he couldn’t sleep without his hammock.
12. What do you call a pirate who’s really good at math? Arithme-tickle.
13. Why did the pirate join a gym? He wanted to work on his booty gains.
14. What did the pirate say when he saw his shipmate’s new peg leg? “Arr, matey, that’s a fine leg to stand on!”

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Pirate Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Pirate jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.