77 Pull Out Jokes and puns that will crack you up 😃

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A pull out joke is a type of joke that is not immediately apparent as a joke. It is usually hidden in plain sight within a sentence or paragraph and is only revealed when the reader or listener takes the time to think about it. Pull out jokes are often play on words, puns, or other types of wordplay. The pull out joke often relies on the audience’s familiarity with a specific phrase, saying, or type of person. It is in this way that it often becomes a stereotype joke that is sometimes offensive to those who are familiar with the stereotypes.

 

Best Pull out jokes

 A man and his wife are lying in bed one night. She says, “Honey, you know, I’ve been thinking about getting a tummy tuck for years now.” He replies, “I don’t think so dear. I think you’re just fine.”

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 A man is very concerned about his wife’s bad habit of smoking. He tells her, “I’d do anything to quit smoking.” She replies, “Would you stop it with the cigarettes?”

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 A man and his wife are lying in bed one night. She says, “Honey, you know, I’ve been thinking about getting a tummy tuck for years now.” He replies, “I don’t think so dear. I think you’re just fine.”

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 A man is telling his wife about a new medical procedure. He says, “They take fat from your waist, thighs, buttocks and stomach – put it in your face, and you look ten years younger.” She says, “Ten years? That’s great!” He replies, “Yeah! you lose two years for every inch of fat!”

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 A woman is telling her friend about the terrible fight she had with her husband. She says, “He’s so mean! He actually left me and went to stay at a hotel.” Her friend replies, “First time?” She says, “No, the third.”

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A woman tells her friend, “I’m worried about my husband who has a terrible habit of drinking a whole bottle of whiskey every day.” Her friend replies, “Oh, that’s nothing! My husband drinks a whole case of beer every night!”

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 When a man’s wife is expecting a baby, the husband always gets very excited and tells all his friends. One of the friends says, “Aren’t you afraid that it might be a girl?” The man replies, “No, I’m not worried about that at all. I’ll just buy the nanny a pair of overalls.”

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 A woman asks her friend, “Do you think it’s wise to marry somebody who’s divorced?” The friend replies, “What do you care? You’re not marrying him.”

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 A man is telling his neighbour about the wonderful new computer he has. “It can do everything,” he says. “It can even make a tax return.” The neighbour replies, “Does it come with software?”

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 A woman says to her friend, “I just bought a new washing machine.” Her friend replies, “You’re lucky. My husband never lets me buy anything.”

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 A man who is learning to play golf asks his neighbour, “Can you give me some advice? I’m having trouble with my putting.” The neighbour replies, “Practice on the green by your house. You can’t miss.”

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Funny Pull Out Jokes

 I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

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 A man walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bartender brings him his beer and says “That’ll be $3.50.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a quarter, which he places on the counter and says “Change.”

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 I was having dinner with my boss and his wife when he asked me to pass the salt. “Please,” she said, “Pass the pepper.”

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 I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time.” So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

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 I went to a drive-in movie. The speaker said, “Would the people in the blue car please move to the back row?”

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 I went to a general store, but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.

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 I saw a sign at a construction site that said “Foreman wanted”. I thought maybe that was why it was taking them so long to finish the job.

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 I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.

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 When I got old, I put the Christmas lights on the outside of my house so I wouldn’t have to hire a decorator.

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 I had to stop driving my car for a while. The tires got dizzy.

Couldn’t Pull Out Jokes

 I wrote a letter to my dad, but I couldn’t figure out where to send it.

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 I went to the bank, and they wouldn’t leave me alone.

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 I asked a friend for his phone number, but he wouldn’t tell me.

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 I called the operator, and asked if I could have the telephone number of a girl in California. She said, “I don’t know. Do you have a pen?”

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 I dialed a wrong number, and a man answered, “Hello?” He sounded very angry. I said “sorry” and hung up.

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 I was at the store, and I saw a sign that said “pet supplies.

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 A man is lying in bed with his new girlfriend when she turns to him and asks, “Would you like to fool around?” He replies, “Sorry, I’m all tied up.”

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 A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” The doctor says, “Why don’t you turn him in?” The man says, “I would but I need the eggs.”

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 Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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 What does a chicken have that no other animal has? Everything.

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I Never Pull Out Jokes

 Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

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 Why did the pig fall in love with the chicken?

She had larnyx.

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 Why did the chicken cross the road, and then ross it again?

Because it was a double-crosser.

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 I was standing at the bar in a pub when a big, burly bloke walked in and said to me, “Are you looking at me?” I said, “Yes” He grabbed me by the throat, shook me and said: “Well don’t!”

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 Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

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 A wife has just finished reading a new book and goes to her husband. She says, “Darling, I’ve got some exciting news for you! For years I’ve been unhappy with our marriage and haven’t said anything. But I’ve just read this book and it’s turned my life around. I no longer want a divorce! What do you think?” The husband, who is a bit of a chauvinist, says, “Great! Let’s start with your name.”

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What do you call a guy who uses the pull-out method?

Daddy.

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As a professional sex educator I have frequently teach kids that the “pull-out method” is almost 90% effective when I do it right.

That or I’m shooting blanks

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My friend and I had a contest to see who could successfully use the pullout method of contraception the most.

He was winning but then I made a comeback.

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(Bo Burnham) I got my girlfriend pregnant

On a pullout couch

My girlfriend and I played Jenga on the first date…

So she already knows that my pullout game is strong.

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Punchline Pull Out Jokes

C’mon Syria, you’ve only got yourself to blame..

Did you really believe him when he said that he’d pullout?

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People are freaking out about Trump pulling out of the Nuclear Deal with Iran but they forget this has been done before

I mean, it certainly wouldn’t be the first pull-out that went wrong.

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1+1=3

because my pullout game is weak

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I’m great at pulling out! Just ask my kids…

Not a single one of them has gotten pregnant yet!

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My neighbor came over to help me with pulling out some unwanted trees

Now I’m stuck with a bunch of ash-holes.

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Pulling out is a skill baesd game, while ……..

Pulling out is a skill based game, while condoms are pay-to-win.

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Did you know there’s a word for people who rely on pulling out for birth control?

Parents.

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What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

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Conclusion Of Pull Out Jokes

In conclusion, humor is a great way to diffuse tension and make people feel comfortable. If you can make people laugh, you’re likely to get their attention and build rapport. So, next time you’re looking to break the ice or lighten the mood, try using a pull out joke.

 

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