70 Purple Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Purple jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Purple jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Purple jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Purple jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Purple Jokes

1. Why did the grape feel depressed? Because it couldn’t find a date.
2. What did the purple grape say to the green grape? “Breathe, stupid!”
3. What did one purple grape say to the other purple grape? “You’re a grape and I’m grape, let’s hug it out!”
4. Why did the grape refuse to have an argument? It didn’t want to get into a vine.
5. What do you call a purple grape that’s gone bad? A raisin the alarm.
6. What’s purple and always works alone? A grape (grape doesn’t grow in clusters like cherries or strawberries)
7. What do you get when you cross a grape with a giraffe? A purple giraffe.
8. Why did the purple grape cross the road? To prove he had guts.
9. What did the purple grape say when it got stepped on? “Nothing, it just let out a little wine.”
10. What do you call a purple grape that’s dressed as a cowboy? A rootin’ tootin’ grape!
11. Why was the purple grape happy? Because it had found its raisin d’être.
12. Why did the purple grape break up with the red grape? It found someone who was raisin the bar higher.
13. What do you get when you cross a purple grape with a blueberry? A blurpleberry.
14. What do you call a purple grape that’s been around the world? A well-traveled raisin.

Purple Jokes for Kids

1. What did the purple grape say to the grape juice? “You’re turning me into a raisin!”
2. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? “Nothing, it just let out a little whine.”
3. Why was the purple grape afraid to cross the road? It was afraid of getting squished.
4. Why did the purple grape go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little wine-sick.
5. What did the grape say to the banana? “You’re really appealing!”
6. What do you call a purple grape that’s having a bad day? A grape in a sour mood.
7. Why was the purple grape so good at playing basketball? It knew how to grape and shoot.
8. What did the purple grape say to the orange? “You’re too citrus-ly.”
9. What did the grape say to the watermelon? “You’re one in a melon!”
10. What do you call a purple grape that’s always late? A grape that’s running behind.
11. Why did the grape go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
12. Why did the grape go on a diet? Because it was tired of raisin the bar for itself.
13. What did the purple grape say to the green apple? “You’re the apple of my eye!”
14. Why did the grape go to school? To learn how to grapevine dance.

Funny Purple Jokes

1. What do you call a grape that’s gone bad and joined a gang? A sour grape.
2. What did the grape say to the cherry? “You’re so cherry sweet!”
3. Why did the grape get a job at the winery? To grape the opportunity.
4. What did the grape say to the lemon? “You’re so sour, it makes me pucker.”
5. What do you call a grape that’s always complaining? A whine-oh!
6. Why did the grape want to join the military? It wanted to be a part of the grape brigade.
7. What did the purple grape say to the blue grape? “Are you feeling blue?”
8. What did the grape say to the banana when it asked for a date? “Sorry, you’re not my type, I’m looking for a grape match.”
9. Why did the grape break up with the orange? It found out the orange was juicing around.
10. What did the grape say when it got caught stealing? “I swear I didn’t raisin the alarm.”
11. Why did the grape break up with the apple? It found out the apple was pear-ing around.
12. What do you call a group of singing grapes? The Grape-est Showmen.
13. Why did the grape go to the art museum? To see the grape-est paintings of all time.
14. What did the grape say when it won the lottery? “I can finally live my grape life!”

Purple Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the grape go to the gym? It wanted to work on its grape guns.
2. What do you call a purple grape that’s always on social media? A grape influencer.
3. What did the grape say when it was asked to the prom? “I’m not sure, I’ll have to raisin it over.”
4. Why did the grape go to the psychiatrist? To work on its grape depression.
5. What did the grape say when it was asked to describe itself? “I’m a grape catch!”
6. Why did the grape quit its job at the winery? It didn’t like the grapevine.
7. What did the grape say when it saw its crush? “I’m vine over heels for you!”
8. Why did the grape break up with the plum? It found out the plum was pitted against it.
9. What do you call a grape that’s always gossiping? A grapevine.
10. What did the grape say to the peach? “I’m so grape-ful we met!”
11. Why did the grape refuse to play cards? It didn’t want to get into a grapevine.
12. What did the grape say when it got caught sneaking out? “I swear I was just going out for some fresh grape!”
13. Why did the grape go to the library? It wanted to borrow some grape reads.
14. What did the grape say when it found out it was going to be made into wine? “I’m feeling a little grape-pressed.”

Purple Jokes and Puns

1. What do you call a grape that’s always exaggerating? A grape embellisher.
2. What did the grape say when it saw its ex? “I don’t want to wine and dine you anymore.”
3. Why did the grape go to the doctor for a check-up? It wanted to make sure it was grape and healthy.
4. What do you call a grape that’s always busy? A grape multi-tasker.
5. What did the grape say to the blueberry when it was feeling down? “You need to berry your problems and keep on going!”
6. Why did the grape refuse to go to the party? It didn’t want to get into a bunch.
7. What did the grape say when it heard a joke? “That’s grape, keep ’em.”
8. What did the grape say when it heard a joke? “That’s grape, keep ’em coming!”
9. Why did the grape go to the gym? It wanted to work on its grape-titude.
10. What did the grape say when it found out it had a twin? “Grape minds think alike!”
11. Why did the grape break up with the kiwi? It found out the kiwi was too fuzzy.
12. What do you call a grape that’s always telling jokes? A grape jester.
13. What did the grape say when it won the lottery? “I’m going on a grape escape!”
14. Why did the grape go to the bar? It wanted to wine down after a long day.
15. What did the grape say when it got lost? “I’m grape-fully challenged.”

Final Take Away from these Funny Purple Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Purple jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.