70 Sailor Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Sailor jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Sailor jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Sailor jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Sailor jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Sailor Jokes

1. Why did the sailor refuse to go on a diet? Because he didn’t want to abandon ship!
2. What did the sailor say to the bartender? “I’ll have a seamanhattan, please!”
3. Why was the sailor always so happy? He had a ship-ton of reasons to be!
4. Why did the sailor go to the gym? To stay ship-shape!
5. What do you call a sailor who’s always on the lookout for danger? A sea-spy!
6. Why did the sailor become a chef? He heard there was a lot of dough to be made!
7. What did the sailor say when he lost his sea legs? “I’m all at sea!”
8. Why was the sailor afraid of the storm? He thought he might get lost at sea and end up in treble!
9. Why did the sailor have trouble with his computer? He kept trying to click on the anchor instead of the mouse!
10. What did the sailor say when he saw land after weeks at sea? “It’s about time, I was getting pretty shore of this boat!”
11. Why did the sailor bring a ladder on board? He wanted to climb the ranks!
12. What did the sailor say when he got a job at a bank? “I’m finally getting a steady current!”
13. Why did the sailor go to the doctor? He had a case of seasickness that wouldn’t go away!
14. What did the sailor say to his boss when he got fired? “I guess I’m all washed up!”

Sailor Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the sailor join a gymnasium? To improve his sea-ttle body!
2. What did the sailor say when he found out he was going to be a father? “I guess I’m going to have a little anchor-baby!”
3. Why did the sailor keep a dictionary on board? To keep up with all the sea-terms!
4. What did the sailor say to the musician? “I hear you’re a real ace of bass!”
5. Why did the sailor become a gardener? He heard he could grow seaweed!
6. What did the sailor say when he was told to swab the deck? “Aye, aye, cap’n, I’ll get right on that!”
7. Why did the sailor go to space? He wanted to be the first person to sail among the stars!
8. What did the sailor say to the insurance agent? “I need a policy that covers acts of cod!”
9. Why did the sailor go to the barbershop? He wanted a nautical haircut!
10. What did the sailor say when he saw a shark in the water? “I hope that thing doesn’t bite off more than it can chew!”
11. Why did the sailor start a band? He wanted to make some waves!
12. What did the sailor say to the waitress? “I’ll have the catch of the day, please!”
13. Why did the sailor get a tattoo of an anchor? He wanted to show off his sea-cred!
14. What did the sailor say to the dentist? “I need a tooth with a sea view!”

Funny Sailor Jokes

1. Why did the sailor become a teacher? He wanted to make sure his students knew the ropes!
2. What did the sailor say when he saw a dolphin swimming alongside the ship? “Well, blow me down!”
3. Why did the sailor go to the gym? He wanted to work on his stern muscles!
4. What did the sailor say when he was asked if he knew how to swim? “Of course I know how to swim, I’m a sailor!”
5. Why did the sailor join the choir? He wanted to sing sea-shanties with a group!
6. What did the sailor say when he found out his ship was haunted? “I’m not afraid of ghosts, I’m used to things that go bump in the night!”
7. Why did the sailor become a lawyer? He wanted to specialize in maritime law!
8. What did the sailor say to the pilot? “I prefer to sail the high seas, but I guess you can fly if you want to.”
9. Why did the sailor take a cooking class? He wanted to learn how to make a mean seafood chowder!
10. What did the sailor say when he was asked if he had a GPS? “No need for a GPS, I navigate by the stars!”
11. Why did the sailor go to the animal shelter? He wanted to adopt a sea-dog!
12. What did the sailor say when he saw a mermaid? “I never thought I’d actually see one in real life!”
13. Why did the sailor start a blog? He wanted to share his sea-faring adventures with the world!
14. What did the sailor say when he saw a giant squid? “I think I need a bigger boat!”

Sailor Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the sailor go to the optometrist? He needed to get his sea-eyes checked!
2. What did the sailor say to the birdwatcher? “I prefer to watch sea-gulls instead of regular gulls!”
3. Why did the sailor start a garden on his ship? He wanted to have fresh produce while at sea!
4. What did the sailor say when he found a message in a bottle? “This must be my lucky day!”
5. Why did the sailor become a stand-up comedian? He wanted to entertain his ship-mates during long voyages!
6. What did the sailor say when he saw a rainbow on the horizon? “Looks like we’re going to have smooth sailing ahead!”
7. Why did the sailor go to the art museum? He wanted to learn about famous maritime paintings!
8. What did the sailor say when he met a pirate? “I’m a sailor, but I’m not afraid to walk the plank!”
9. Why did the sailor start a book club? He wanted to discuss his favorite sea-themed novels!
10. What did the sailor say when he saw a sea monster? “I think we’re going to need a bigger cannon!”
11. Why did the sailor become a surfer? He wanted to catch some gnarly waves!
12. What did the sailor say when he saw an iceberg? “I think we need to change course, and fast!”
13. Why did the sailor go to the concert? He wanted to hear some sea-shanties performed live!
14. What did the sailor say when he saw a lighthouse? “Thank goodness for that, I was starting to feel lost at sea!”

Sailor Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the sailor start a podcast? He wanted to share his knowledge about sailing with others!
2. What did the sailor say when he found out he won the lottery? “Looks like I’ll be able to retire and sail the seas
3. What did the sailor say when he found out he won the lottery? “Looks like I’ll be able to retire and sail the seas in style!”
4. Why did the sailor become a photographer? He wanted to capture the beauty of the ocean on film!
5. What did the sailor say when he saw a rainbow-colored sailboat? “That’s one way to make a splash!”
6. Why did the sailor become a writer? He wanted to pen the next great sea-faring novel!
7. What did the sailor say when he saw a pod of dolphins swimming alongside the ship? “This is why I love being a sailor!”
8. Why did the sailor take a CPR class? He wanted to be prepared for any emergency at sea!
9. What did the sailor say to the scuba diver? “I prefer to see the ocean from the surface, thank you very much!”
10. Why did the sailor become a sailor? Because he couldn’t imagine a life without the ocean!
11. What did the sailor say when he saw a flock of seagulls? “I hope they don’t poop on the deck!”
12. Why did the sailor become a painter? He wanted to capture the changing colors of the ocean at different times of day!
13. What did the sailor say when he saw a group of whales breaching? “That’s something you don’t see every day!”
14. Why did the sailor take a navigation course? He wanted to be able to navigate by more than just the stars!
15. What did the sailor say when he saw a breathtaking sunset on the horizon? “This is why I became a sailor – for moments like this!”

 

Final Take Away from these Funny Sailor Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Sailor jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.