Whether you call it soccer or football, the sport has a rich history and passionate fans around the world. And with any sport comes a host of jokes made by fans and players alike. Soccer, or football as it is known in many parts of the world, is a sport with a long and storied history. It is also a sport that lends itself to a good joke or two.
Whether you call it soccer or football, the sport has a rich history and passionate fans around the world. And with any sport comes a host of jokes made by fans and players alike. Here are some of our favourite soccer jokes.
Best Soccer Jokes
Do you know the best soccer jokes? If you don’t, you’re in for a treat! Here are some of the best soccer jokes around:
Why was the magician the captain of the soccer team?
He was the best at hat tricks.
Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.
What time is it when a soccer team chases a baseball team?
Eleven after nine. (9:11)
What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match
Why wont Demi Lovato play soccer?
She cant seem to kick anything
What did Santa bring the naughty soccer announcer?
COOOOOAAAALLLLLL!!!!!
What’s the first reference to soccer in the bible?
“And then Jesus went up for the cross”
2 flies are playing soccer on a plate.
One says to the other “you’d better pick up your game Louie, we’re playing in the cup tomorrow”.
I watched a soccer game that ended in a 1-1 draw…
No 1-1
Did you hear the score of the England vs Ethiopia soccer game?
England 8. Ethiopia didn’t
Life is like soccer
My mom signed me up for it even though I hate it
Why shouldn’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she ran away from the ball
Why did the soccer ball quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around.
What kind of soccer team cries when it loses?
A bawl club.
Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she always runs away from the ball.
Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket instead.
Soccer Jokes for kids
When it comes to jokes, kids can be tough audiences. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of funny soccer jokes out there that they’ll love. Here are some of our favorites.
How do birds cheer for their soccer teams?
They egg them on.
Why did the chicken get ejected from the soccer game?
For persistent fowl play.
Why didn’t the dog want to play soccer?
He was a boxer.
Where’s the best place to shop for a soccer uniform?
New Jersey.
What time is it when an elephant steps on your soccer ball?
Time to get a new ball!
Why are scrambled eggs like a losing soccer team?
Because they’ve both been beaten.
What runs around a soccer field but never moves?
A fence.
Heard someone say they had to play soccer with 2nd graders.
They should really invest in a ball…
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra.
It has no cups and minimal support.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOALL!
Funny Soccer Jokes
While the game itself is serious business, there is always room for a little bit of fun. Here are some funny soccer jokes to make you laugh.
What is soccer?
It has been described as a game with 22 players, two linesmen, and 20,000 referees.
Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions.
Just letting you know!
I’m currently dating a famous soccer player.
He’s so loving and caring towards me. He’s a keeper.
Why couldn’t the star soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.
What would you get if you crossed a soccer player and the Invisible Man?
He would play soccer like no one has ever seen.
Which soccer player has the biggest cleats?
The one with the biggest feet.
What happens to soccer players who go blind?
They become referees.
Where do soccer players go to dance?
The Futball.
When is a soccer player like a judge?
When he sits on the bench.
Which soccer player keeps the field neat?
The sweeper.
Why are soccer players so artistic?
Because every game ends in a draw.
What kind of tea do soccer players drink?
Penal-Tea.
Dirty Soccer Jokes
Dirty soccer jokes are the best kind of jokes. They’re the ones that make you laugh out loud, even if you don’t want to.
Here are some of the best dirty soccer jokes:
Why are soccer players never asked out for dinner?
Because they’re always dribbling!
What do you get if you cross a soccer player and a mythical puppet?
A centaur forward.
Why did the defensive soccer player cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Why couldn’t the all-star soccer player listen to music?
Because he broke all the records.
Why was the soccer field wet on a sunny day?
The players dribbled all over it.
Why did the soccer player kick the grass?
Because it was being a pitch.
Why did the soccer player hold his boot to his ear?
Because he enjoyed sole music.
What does a soccer player say on Halloween?
“Hat Trick or Treat!”
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on.
They just need to bring on their subs.
Which bar downtow
n do soccer players hate striking on?
Crossbar.
Why do soccer players do so well in school?
They know how to use their heads.
What position do ghosts play in soccer?
Ghoulie
What is a ghosts favorite soccer position?
Ghoul keeper.
Last weekend I went to see my girlfriend’s soccer match, and she did this awesome save.
She’s definitely a keeper!
Corny Soccer Jokes
Here are some of the best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) corny soccer jokes:
Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the internet?
Because they can’t stop saving their work.
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
What do you get when you cross a soccer goalie and the Invisible Man?
Goal tending like no one has ever seen.
What did the soccer goalie say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What is the favorite letter of any golfer?
Tee.
What gets harder to catch as you keep running faster?
Your breath.
Why was the golfer wearing two pairs of pants to the game?
She did it in case she got any holes in any one of them.
Why didn’t the defensive end pass his tests?
Because he was the tackling dummy.
Soccer is a strange game.
Soccer is a bunch of people running away from their goals.
Our soccer team is so bad that our opponents hit the bar three times in the first half of today’s match.
They could have at least waited till the end to celebrate.
Why do dwarfs laugh when playing soccer?
The grass tickles their balls.
Who is Homer Simpson’s favorite soccer player?
Ronal-D’oh!
A football/soccer coach yells at his team after the game
“I TOLD YOU TO PLAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE, NOT PLAY LIKE YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE”
Why do Italians love soccer?
Because half way through, they get to switch sides.
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Why was the dog bad at soccer?
Because he had two left feet
What do you call a senile old man thats surprisingly good at Soccer?
Gerry Hat-Trick
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Playing Soccer is addictve and I wanna stop,
but I can’t seem to kick the habit.
Why did Shakira marry a soccer player?
For his stamina mina eh eh!
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Conclusion Of Soccer Jokes
In conclusion, soccer jokes are a fun way to show your passion for the sport. They can be used to lighten the mood, make people laugh, and bond over a shared love of the game. So next time you’re at a soccer game, don’t be afraid to share a few good laughs with your fellow fans.
