70 Turtle Jokes, Puns and One-liners to Crack You Up 😀

Are you looking to add a little lightheartedness and laughter to your day? Look no further than these 70 hilarious Turtle jokes and puns! 

From one liners to clever puns, these funny Turtle jokes are sure to get a chuckle from everyone.

Regardless of your age or sense of humor, these funny Turtle jokes will surely get everyone giggling. So why not pass some time with these hilarious Turtle jokes and puns?

Let’s get started!

Turtle Jokes

1. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.
2. What do you call a turtle that’s taking up photography? A Snap-turtle.
3. What do turtles use to communicate with each other? Shell phones.
4. What did the turtle say to the snail when he offered him a ride? “No thanks, I’m a shellfish.”
5. Why don’t turtles share their food? Because they’re shellfish.
6. What did the turtle say to the suspicious-looking caterpillar? “I don’t trust you, you’re too butterfly.”
7. Why did the turtle break up with his girlfriend? She was a little too slow for him.
8. Why did the turtle go to the hospital? He had a shellphone lodged in his throat.
9. Why was the turtle kicked out of the band? He was playing too many turtle shells.
10. What did the turtle say when he was offered a drink at the bar? “No thanks, I’m already tanked.”
11. What do you call a turtle that’s into conspiracy theories? A shell-luminati.
12. Why did the turtle refuse to go on the rollercoaster? He didn’t want to get shell-shocked.
13. Why did the turtle take up boxing? He wanted to be a shell-fighter.
14. What did the turtle say when he crossed the finish line? “I shell-abrated!”

Turtle Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the turtle climb the tree? To get to the other shell.
2. What do you call a turtle that’s a magician? A shell-ebritty.
3. Why did the turtle go to the party with a mop? He wanted to do some shell-cleaning.
4. What do you call a turtle that’s a car enthusiast? A shell-by.
5. Why did the turtle start a rock band? He wanted to play some heavy metal shell music.
6. What did the turtle say when he saw his reflection? “Whoa, that’s a shell of a good-looking turtle!”
7. Why did the turtle take up baking? He wanted to make some turtle pie.
8. What do you call a turtle that’s a fashion designer? A shell-couture.
9. Why did the turtle go to space? He wanted to see if the Earth was really flat.
10. What did the turtle say to the rabbit when he won the race? “Slow and steady wins the race, my friend.”
11. Why did the turtle go to the dance party? To do the turtle twerk.
12. What do you call a turtle that’s a chef? A shell-cook.
13. Why did the turtle refuse to play soccer? He kept getting shell-shocked.
14. What did the turtle say when he found the treasure chest? “It’s shell-a lot of booty!”

Funny Turtle Jokes

1. Why did the turtle go to the gym? He wanted to do some shell-ercises.
2. What do you call a turtle that’s a stand-up comedian? A shellarious.
3. Why did the turtle take up yoga? He wanted to be more shell-flexible.
4. What did the turtle say when he was asked to donate money to charity? “I shell help out.”
5. Why did the turtle refuse to go to the zoo? He didn’t want to be shell-locked.
6. Why did the turtle go to the bank? He wanted to get a shell-loan.
7. What did the turtle say when he was asked to come out of his shell? “I can’t, it’s a shell-ter for me.”
8. Why did the turtle start a garden? He wanted to grow some shellery.
9. What do you call a turtle that’s a rapper? A shellionaire.
10. Why did the turtle take up painting? He wanted to create some shell art.
11. What did the turtle say when he got stuck in the mud? “I’m in a real shell of a situation.”
12. Why did the turtle go to the dentist? He had a cavity in his shell.
13. What do you call a turtle that’s a detective? A shell-lock Holmes.

Turtle Jokes One-liners

1. Why did the turtle become a lifeguard? He wanted to be a shell-p saver.
2. What did the turtle say when he was asked to help move? “I can’t, I’m too shell-fish.”
3. Why did the turtle go to the doctor? He had a shell-arious cough.
4. What do you call a turtle that’s a singer? A shell-ebritty.
5. Why did the turtle go to the arcade? He wanted to play some shell-shock.
6. What did the turtle say when he was asked about his love life? “I’m just taking it shell by shell.”
7. Why did the turtle take up golf? He wanted to improve his shell swing.
8. What do you call a turtle that’s a lawyer? A shell-egist.
9. Why did the turtle go to the library? He wanted to read some shell-ectric books.
10. What did the turtle say when he was asked to run a marathon? “I’ll try my shell-best.”
11. Why did the turtle start a business? He wanted to be a shell-entrepreneur.
12. What do you call a turtle that’s a doctor? A shell-practitioner.
13. Why did the turtle go to the aquarium? He wanted to see some shellfish.
14. What did the turtle say when he was asked to do a backflip? “I can’t, I’m too shell-heavy.”

Turtle Jokes and Puns

1. Why did the turtle start a book club? He wanted to read some shell-ectic literature.
2. What do you call a turtle that’s a news anchor? A shell-broadcaster.
3. Why did the turtle go to the gymnasium? He wanted to do some shell-lifting.
4. What did the turtle say when he was asked to go on a road trip? “I’ll pack my shell bags.”
5. Why did the turtle take up archery? He wanted to improve his shell-accuracy.
6. What do you call a turtle that’s a fashion model? A shell-ebrity.
7. Why did the turtle go to the amusement park? He wanted to ride some shell-tastic rides.
8. What did the turtle say when he was asked to give a speech? “I’ll have to shell-abrate my thoughts.”
9. Why did the turtle start a blog? He wanted to share his shell-stories.
10. What do you call a turtle that’s a musician? A shell-ist.
11. Why did the turtle go to the pet store? He wanted to buy some shell food.
12. What did the turtle say when he was asked to run for president? “I’ll have to shell-iberate on that decision.”
13. Why did the turtle go to the museum? He wanted to see some shell-artifacts.
14. What do you call a turtle that’s a writer? A shell-scribe.

Final Take Away from these Funny Turtle Jokes

The above 70 hilarious Turtle jokes and puns are sure to make any gathering of friends, family members, or colleagues erupt with laughter.

I am sure these jokes and puns must have lightened your mood and also have brought some humor to your life.

Also don’t forget to check our other list of jokes.